Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Craigslist stories, deals, and whores

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts



  • Time has come to sell my ZR1.

    Here's a photo album you can dig through.

    iCloud Photo Sharing lets you share just the photos you want with just the people you choose.



    First off, I have driven the daylights out of this car and have maintained it perfectly. I drive it all over. I drive the tires off of it. This is no trailer/garage queen. It has lived a full life and I've babied it, so now I can hand it off to you with 95,000 miles, a clear title and a smile.

    So it's time to let the redneck rocketship go to a new home.

    The paint, bodywork and interior are F_L_A_W_L_E_S_S no reason to ask about condition. The answer is: it's flawless. Period.

    So before we get off on the wrong foot, yes it's cheap and yes it has 95,000 miles on it. If you call me and start dragging my dick through the dirt about the price or the miles I'm going to assume your broke ass is too dumb to read or get a $50,000 loan at 32.999% interest rate. I will terminate the expensive bilateral consumption of our respective time. Bye Felicia.

    Pricing? I can't sell it for $55,000 and you can't buy it for $45,000 so that's why I'm asking $50K. Bottom line is car is worth what you're willing to pay. So, that's my thought process.

    Oh and another dumb question everybody asks which I don't understand. Why are you selling it? Because I don't want to own it anymore you fucking retard. You're just buying my car I'm not really sure that we need to get involved in each others life decisions here, boys.

    I don't haggle. Buy it or fuck off. I don't really give a shit. The following manners of payment are acceptable. 500 neatly stacked or rubber banded $100 bills. I do not accept PayPal. Do not except Visa or MasterCard or American Express. I don't know what bitcoin is. I don't take Western Union. I don't want your old lady. I don't want your kids or your dog. I don't want your pappys old revolver. If your old lady is Taylor swift or shania twain we might have some haggling going on.

    Okay Jesus. Every time I sell a car I feel like I'm at a god damn deposition for one of my oil wells with the disclaimers and whatnot. It's just a car people it's not your wife, if you don't like it you can sell it. I swear some time people just make me crazy, we're not getting married or going on a cruise together.

    I've done a couple updates and upgrades. Borla A.T.A.K. exhaust. Smaller billet pulley. Stainless lines. 3m clear bra whole car. Yes, the entire car is wrapped perfectly in 3M clear bra.

    FIVE sets of wheels. Zr1 stock wheels and a set of some fancy $6000 Italian hoops. I've got a laser scrambler and radar jammer that works about 70% of the time.

    Just got out of the Chevy dealership with a clean bill of health and a $2000 new radiator and fan.

    Mild Hennessy tune and cam. Their lying Dyno says 777 hp which is horseshit. But internet fags love Dyno sheets so you can have one, too. I mean, yes it is faster than most of the stock ZR1s but it's not like night and day or anything.

    I have one functional key and one busted key that I ran over in a drunken stupor one night. You can have em both.

    It's a clear title. Carfax shows 3 owners. I bought it with like 5000 miles on it. Title in hand.

    Oh also it has a warranty on it up to 150k miles. I bought it when I bought the car. It CANNOT transfer but I'll keep it on my name in case you mess it up.

    Price is $50k. I like to gamble so if you want I'll flip you a quarter for it. Heads you get the Car for $45,000. Tails you pay $50k. I'll put the title on the hood and you drop the cash. Winner wins we're not flipping for fun.

    Y'all have a wonderful hot summer and hug your kids.

    Oh, yes everybody keeps asking about why I have FIVE sets of wheels.

    Well the chrome wheels on it were the stock wheels. I wanted the Grand Sport Wheels, so I bought those. I wanted to take it to a track day, and the tires for the Grand Sport wheels were $3000 so I just bought a set of Z06 wheels and put some Pirellis on it. Spacers are included for the front wheels (they don't clear the rotors without a 10mm spacer. Then, I decided I wanted the Factory Reproduction wheels in Anodized Black, so I put those on. Long story short is it comes with 4 complete extra set of wheels and tires and one extra set of wheels. I have easily $10,000 extras in wheels that are included with the price. If you want to pick a set you prefer and put it on the car I'll discount it $1000 per set.

    Has the 3ZR premium equipment package on it.
    Original MSRP is $124,385

    Call me. Trades are cool. Partial % in airplanes, land, rare guns, watches etc. Don't need the money but not going to give the car away.

    I am a bonded Texas dealer, but this is my own personal vehicle. So I can sell it to you individual to individual or dealer to individual. I keep a license because it's cheaper than paying sales tax on all my cars.





    __________________________________________________



    What a badass.
    Originally posted by Buzzo
    Some dudes jump out of airplanes, I fuck hookers without condoms.

    sigpic

    Comment




    • Yep, it was narrated in his voice when I read that.

      Comment


      • I wish most cars were advertised/sold like this. I'll flip for a 10% discount every time.
        Ronald Reagan:"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

        Homer: "Bart...there's 2 things I know about women. Never give them nicknames like "jumbo" or "boxcar" and always keep receipts...it makes you look like a business man."

        Comment



        • What did it take to swap the trans?

          CN

          Comment


          • Comment


            • I wish I needed this. http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/cto/5788800342.html

              CN

              Comment


              • That's noice!

                Comment


                • Momma mia



                  Comment


                  • stops and stars but they need a tractor to load it on the trailer?

                    Comment


                    • The quintessential chevy ad

                      [x] 350 4bolt main
                      [x] camel back heads
                      [x] aluminum racing radiator
                      [x] Edelbrock carburetor
                      [x] Edelbrock air filter
                      [x] aluminum Billet racing steering wheel

                      "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Baron Von Crowder View Post
                        The quintessential chevy ad

                        [x] 350 4bolt main
                        [x] camel back heads
                        [x] aluminum racing radiator
                        [x] Edelbrock carburetor
                        [x] Edelbrock air filter
                        [x] aluminum Billet racing steering wheel

                        http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/5767255423.html
                        Man that's not a bad deal. I feel like prices have been coming down. God those wheels tho
                        DE OPPRESSO LIBER

                        Comment


                        • That's a clean little wagon.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by hawaii5.0 View Post
                            That's a clean little wagon.
                            this would be more fun

                            "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Baron Von Crowder View Post
                              Damn that's rad
                              DE OPPRESSO LIBER

                              Comment


                              • Yup

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X