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So I work for a very prestigious company in Dallas. And I won't lie, the environment is fairly uppity at times with many self important blow hards and the usual office politics playing assholes. A huge number of the employees are ivy league or ex military, some real type A personalities. The company is fantastic and the owners are also fantastic. They just recently built a new campus for us and no expense was spared, total cost was something like $200 million. It is like a fucking resort and I definitely don't deserve it. I have decided the adjective I will use is palatial. Like Joe Walsh, I can't complain but sometimes I still do.
So anyway today some of the craziest shit I have ever seen in my 20 year career happened.. someone apparently had the explosive shits, like from a night of hard partying or maybe from a greasy breakfast. Or I guess in their defense this could be a faulty colostomy bag or something. But anyway, this person couldn't make it to the bathroom before dropping their cargo and they left a trail of shit down a very well traveled hallway in an open office area. I guess it ran down a pant leg or fell from under a skirt. Hundreds of people make trips through this area every day. And there was shit everywhere. And it stunk. My God it stunk. Did I mention it was everywhere? Jesus help me. As if that wasn't bad enough, some woman comes along and slips and falls in the piles of shit, falls down and gets it all over her. True story here, honest to God. It was unbelievable. They had to call our insurance group and report a slip and fall. None of these people were identified of course, this was a very hushed HR nightmare brewing. When I left today there was a guy from building maintenance, his team was pulling up the carpets and redoing a couple thousand square feet of it.
So anyway today some of the craziest shit I have ever seen in my 20 year career happened.. someone apparently had the explosive shits, like from a night of hard partying or maybe from a greasy breakfast. Or I guess in their defense this could be a faulty colostomy bag or something. But anyway, this person couldn't make it to the bathroom before dropping their cargo and they left a trail of shit down a very well traveled hallway in an open office area. I guess it ran down a pant leg or fell from under a skirt. Hundreds of people make trips through this area every day. And there was shit everywhere. And it stunk. My God it stunk. Did I mention it was everywhere? Jesus help me. As if that wasn't bad enough, some woman comes along and slips and falls in the piles of shit, falls down and gets it all over her. True story here, honest to God. It was unbelievable. They had to call our insurance group and report a slip and fall. None of these people were identified of course, this was a very hushed HR nightmare brewing. When I left today there was a guy from building maintenance, his team was pulling up the carpets and redoing a couple thousand square feet of it.
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