Back Surgery...

[dmh165638]

About 45 days ago I got my first pain pill prescription (Oxycodone) in 10 years. I drove to Tom Thumb, Walgreens, and CVS to be told they didn't have it (no stores within 20 miles had it either) and would take several days to get it. Finally Albertsons told me they could have it in two days. Every single one of them acted like I was some addict looking for my fix because I was upset about the situation and having to drive all over Lewisville looking for it. The situation sucked. Since then I have taken no more than one pill a day at bed time to just ease the pain for sleep. It really gives me warm fuzzies to know we have doctors out there with attitudes like davbrucas. I really hope I don't walk into an ER with an ailment that has the "9.5/10" or 99% stereotype associated with it so I just automatically get treated that way.

[DON SVO]

Dave's heard this one, but it still boils my blood...

I ended up having a thrash session on one of my cars the day directly after heavy dead lifts at the gym. I remember taking a shower before bed and thinking, "goddamn it hurts to turn/twist to the right." when scrubbing and soaping up. Anyone who's done heavy weight lifting knows what I mean when I initially wrote it off as just "heavy dead lift day and working on the car"...

I went to bed and my left glute and lower back just ACHED, throbbing worse than any muscle pump from lifting I had ever experienced. I woke up that night around 2am, and it HURT. It hurt so bad I would doze off and a sudden stab of pain would jar me right back out of La-La Land. This went on for a couple hours, and it got progressively worse. I was sweating profusely and getting nauseous from how bad it was hurting. At this point it was like the worlds worst powerlifting back muscle pump ever, CONSTANTLY, times ten... For over 5 straight hours.

I finally decided something was wrong and went to the hospital. I drove myself and, considering my car is a manual, realized this was a stupid fucking idea. The third or fourth time pressing the clutch felt like someone was trying to stab my left hip bone with an ice pick... Starting from the rib cage. I coasted through the last two red lights. I vomited in the parking lot from how fucking sick the pain made me.

I checked in and was taken to a room. I couldn't sit up straight without getting light-headed. I finally saw a doctor after about 30 minutes. I explained what happened and where it hurt. He wanted to give me Ibuprofin. I told him I had already taken 8. I wanted an MRI, he thought it was a fucking cramped muscle and gave me a shot of morphine. Morphine did nothing but knock me out for 10 minutes, it hardly touched that pain. I begged him to give me a shot of cortisone and he said it was pointless, even though my lower back on my left side was swollen up so tight you couldn't press on it and get any "give" or do it without making me want to cry.

He finally gave me a low dose script for generic Vico-profen and an anti-nausea drug and released me. No MRI, no x-ray, no muscle relaxers or any quality narco. I went to my primary care doc two days later (after the swelling had subsided enough) and found out I had a torn lat muscle. Worst fucking pain I've ever had in my life, kept me out of the gym or pretty much anything athletic for 10 weeks.

I feel like there are so many opiate junkies out there that someone like me... Clean-cut white guy coming into the ER at 430 am complaining or back pain instantly gets written off. Lots of other legit back pain cases also get written off. It sucks. It sucks when they won't even TRY to diagnose what's wrong. I was so pissed at that doctor for not even humoring the idea of finding out WHY I was in such pain. He would rather just toss me a 30-day for bullshit Vico-profen and push me out the door.

[Chas_svo]

Yep, when you push in the clutch and the pain affects your vision.

I still have hydrocodone sitting in the bottle, from 2009. I must be a junkie.

[davbrucas]

About 45 days ago I got my first pain pill prescription (Oxycodone) in 10 years. I drove to Tom Thumb, Walgreens, and CVS to be told they didn't have it (no stores within 20 miles had it either) and would take several days to get it. Finally Albertsons told me they could have it in two days. Every single one of them acted like I was some addict looking for my fix because I was upset about the situation and having to drive all over Lewisville looking for it. The situation sucked. Since then I have taken no more than one pill a day at bed time to just ease the pain for sleep. It really gives me warm fuzzies to know we have doctors out there with attitudes like davbrucas. I really hope I don't walk into an ER with an ailment that has the "9.5/10" or 99% stereotype associated with it so I just automatically get treated that way.

Dont come into the EMERGENCY ROOM for treatment of CHRONIC PAIN and you will be fine.

[davbrucas]

Dave's heard this one, but it still boils my blood...

I ended up having a thrash session on one of my cars the day directly after heavy dead lifts at the gym. I remember taking a shower before bed and thinking, "goddamn it hurts to turn/twist to the right." when scrubbing and soaping up. Anyone who's done heavy weight lifting knows what I mean when I initially wrote it off as just "heavy dead lift day and working on the car"...

I went to bed and my left glute and lower back just ACHED, throbbing worse than any muscle pump from lifting I had ever experienced. I woke up that night around 2am, and it HURT. It hurt so bad I would doze off and a sudden stab of pain would jar me right back out of La-La Land. This went on for a couple hours, and it got progressively worse. I was sweating profusely and getting nauseous from how bad it was hurting. At this point it was like the worlds worst powerlifting back muscle pump ever, CONSTANTLY, times ten... For over 5 straight hours.

I finally decided something was wrong and went to the hospital. I drove myself and, considering my car is a manual, realized this was a stupid fucking idea. The third or fourth time pressing the clutch felt like someone was trying to stab my left hip bone with an ice pick... Starting from the rib cage. I coasted through the last two red lights. I vomited in the parking lot from how fucking sick the pain made me.

I checked in and was taken to a room. I couldn't sit up straight without getting light-headed. I finally saw a doctor after about 30 minutes. I explained what happened and where it hurt. He wanted to give me Ibuprofin. I told him I had already taken 8. I wanted an MRI, he thought it was a fucking cramped muscle and gave me a shot of morphine. Morphine did nothing but knock me out for 10 minutes, it hardly touched that pain. I begged him to give me a shot of cortisone and he said it was pointless, even though my lower back on my left side was swollen up so tight you couldn't press on it and get any "give" or do it without making me want to cry.

He finally gave me a low dose script for generic Vico-profen and an anti-nausea drug and released me. No MRI, no x-ray, no muscle relaxers or any quality narco. I went to my primary care doc two days later (after the swelling had subsided enough) and found out I had a torn lat muscle. Worst fucking pain I've ever had in my life, kept me out of the gym or pretty much anything athletic for 10 weeks.

I feel like there are so many opiate junkies out there that someone like me... Clean-cut white guy coming into the ER at 430 am complaining or back pain instantly gets written off. Lots of other legit back pain cases also get written off. It sucks. It sucks when they won't even TRY to diagnose what's wrong. I was so pissed at that doctor for not even humoring the idea of finding out WHY I was in such pain. He would rather just toss me a 30-day for bullshit Vico-profen and push me out the door.

I remember this...and what did I tell you? Rub some dirt on it and get back to rowing with the rest of the slaves!!

[Broncojohnny]

I remember this...and what did I tell you? Rub some dirt on it and get back to rowing with the rest of the slaves!!

I was going to tell him congratulations for finally getting 225 lbs up five times.

[davbrucas]

I will post this here in case you guys do decide to visit the ER for chronic pain meds...

"OK, I am not going to lecture you about the dangers of narcotic pain medicines. We both know how addictive they are: you because you know how it feels when you don't have your vicodin, me because I've seen many many many people just like you. However, there are a few things I can tell you that would make us both much happier. By following a few simple rules our little clinical transaction can go more smoothly and we'll both be happier because you get out of the ER quicker.

The first rule is be nice to the nurses. They are underpaid, overworked, and have a lot more influence over your stay in the ER than you think. When you are tempted to treat them like shit because they are not the ones who write the Rx, remember: I might write for you to get a shot of 2mg of Dilaudid, but your behavior toward the nurses determines what percent of that Dilaudid is squirted onto the floor before you get your shot.

The second rule is pick a simple, non-dangerous, (non-verifiable) painful condition which doesn't require me to do a four thousand dollar work-up in order to get you out of the ER. If you tell me that you headache started suddenly and is the 'worst headache of your life' you will either end up with a spinal tap or signing out against medical advice without an Rx for pain medicine. The parts of the story that you think make you sound pitiful and worthy of extra narcotics make me worry that you have a bleeding aneurysm. And while I am 99% sure its not, I'm not willing to lay my license and my families future on the line for your ass. I also don't want to miss the poor bastard who really has a bleed, so everyone with that history gets a needle in the back. Just stick to a history of your 'typical {back/head/joint/TMJ} pain that is totally the same as I usually get' and we will both be much happier.

The third rule (related to #2) is never rate your pain a 10/10. 10/10 means the worst pain you could possibly imagine. I've seen people in a 10/10 pain and you sitting there playing tetris on your cell phone are not in 10/10 pain. 10/10 pain is an open fracture dangling in the wind, a 50% body surface deep partial thickness burn, or the pain of a real cerebral aneurysm. Even when I passed a kidney stone, the worst pain I had was probably a 7. And that was when I was projectile vomiting and crying for my mother. So stick with a nice 7 or even an 8. That means to me you are hurting by you might not be lying. (See below.)

The fourth rule is never ever ever lie to me about who you are or your history. If you come to the ER and give us a fake name so we can't get your old records I will assume you are a worse douchetard than you really are. More importantly though it will really really piss me the fuck off. Pissing off the guy who writes the Rx you want does not work to your advantage.

The fifth rule is don't assume I am an idiot. I went to medical school. That is certainly no guarantee that I am a rocket scientist I know (hell, I went to school with a few people who were a couple of french fries short of a happy meal.) However, I also got an ER residency spot which means I was in the top quarter or so of my class. This means it is a fair guess I am a reasonably smart guy. So if I read your triage note and 1) you list allergies to every non-narcotic pain medicine ever made, 2) you have a history of migraines, fibromyalgia, and lumbar disk disease, and 3) your doctor is on vacation, only has clinic on alternate Tuesdays, or is dead, I am smart enough to read that as: you are scamming for some vicodin. That in and of itself won't necessarily mean you don't get any pain medicine. Hell, the fucktards who list and allergy to Tylenol but who can take vicodin (which contains Tylenol) are at least good for a few laughs at the nurses station. However, if you give that history everyone in the ER from me to the guy who mops the floor will know you are a lying douchetard who is scamming for vicodin. (See rule # 4 about lying.)

The sixth and final rule is wait your fucking turn. If the nurse triages you to the waiting room but brings patients who arrived after you back to be treated first, that is because this is an EMERGENCY room and they are sicker than you are. You getting a fix of vicodin is not more important than the 6 year old with a severe asthma attack. Telling the nurse at triage that now your migraine is giving you chest pain since you have been sitting a half hour in the waiting area to try to force her into taking you back sooner is a recipe for making all of us hate you. Even if you end up coming back immediately, I will make it my mission that night to torment you. You will not get the pain medicine you want under any circumstances. And I firmly believe that if you manipulate your way to the back and make a 19 year old young woman with an ectopic pregnancy that might kill her in a few hours wait even a moment longer to be seen, I should be able to piss in a glass and make you drink it before you leave the ER.

So if you keep these few simple rules in mind, our interaction will go much more smoothly. I don't really give a shit if I give 20 vicodins to a drug-seeker. Before I was burnt out in the ER I was a hippy and I would honestly rather give that to ten of you guys than make one person in real pain (unrelated to withdrawal) suffer. However, if you insist on waving a flourescent orange flag that says 'I am a drug seeker' and pissing me and the nurses off with your behavior, I am less likely to give you that Rx. You don't want that. I don't want that. So lets keep this simple, easy, and we'll all be much happier.

Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood ER doctor"

[Rick Modena]

^^^

So I'm thinking after reading all that, that I'm not going to get my 10 mg of Yellowbirds if I'm not nice at the ER?

[talisman]

Dave's heard this one, but it still boils my blood...

I've been to the ER at 3 or 4 in the morning a long time ago. Stabbing pain in my shoulder and muscle spasms that woke me up. They seemed to believe me, even though I told them I was at a 9, which Dave says is a no-no. Hey, I can only base things on the pain I've had in the past. To me, it was a 9. When I needed those crutches in Nov after my ankle got jacked up, I was making noises in pain I had never heard come out of myself before when I would bump it wrong. That was a real 9.

I remember this...and what did I tell you? Rub some dirt on it and get back to rowing with the rest of the slaves!!

haha!

The longer post is decent, and understandable, Dave. I am polite to everyone in any type of "customer service" job. If they piss me off, I'll just write an email to their company rather than throw a fit at them right there, or even be rude to them. I know that won't accomplish anything anyway. I don't even bother with the medical field. I'm not going to give anyone any excuses to shut the door on me after how difficult it has been to get where I am.

I get classic migraines with aura. So I'm really fucked. lol I take Zipsor for those, but haven't burned through the samples they gave me to the actual prescription yet. Does that throw up a red flag? Also, I didn't have a migraine for 2.5 years after I got divorced, by FAR the longest streak of my life since I was 15. Depressed? lol In addition, only having 1 kidney, I need to keep the doses of ibuprofen to a minimum. This is why I hate going to the doctor. All the medical issues combined sound highly suspicious. A severe car crash far in the past, migraines, can't take an abundance of ibuprofen.. See why I'm paranoid? It's all verifiable though.

[davbrucas]

I've been to the ER at 3 or 4 in the morning a long time ago. Stabbing pain in my shoulder and muscle spasms that woke me up. They seemed to believe me, even though I told them I was at a 9, which Dave says is a no-no. Hey, I can only base things on the pain I've had in the past. To me, it was a 9. When I needed those crutches in Nov after my ankle got jacked up, I was making noises in pain I had never heard come out of myself before when I would bump it wrong. That was a real 9.







haha!



The longer post is decent, and understandable, Dave. I am polite to everyone in any type of "customer service" job. If they piss me off, I'll just write an email to their company rather than throw a fit at them right there, or even be rude to them. I know that won't accomplish anything anyway. I don't even bother with the medical field. I'm not going to give anyone any excuses to shut the door on me after how difficult it has been to get where I am.



I get classic migraines with aura. So I'm really fucked. lol I take Zipsor for those, but haven't burned through the samples they gave me to the actual prescription yet. Does that throw up a red flag? Also, I didn't have a migraine for 2.5 years after I got divorced, by FAR the longest streak of my life since I was 15. Depressed? lol In addition, only having 1 kidney, I need to keep the doses of ibuprofen to a minimum. This is why I hate going to the doctor. All the medical issues combined sound highly suspicious. A severe car crash far in the past, migraines, can't take an abundance of ibuprofen.. See why I'm paranoid? It's all verifiable though.

Yup. All red flags. Unfortunately, the drug seekers use all the same tactics. What are your drug allergies?

[davbrucas]

^^^

So I'm thinking after reading all that, that I'm not going to get my 10 mg of Yellowbirds if I'm not nice at the ER?

What is a yellowbird? Lol

[BradM]

What is a yellowbird? Lol

Probably some shit from the 50's Henry is old as fuck.

[talisman]

Yup. All red flags. Unfortunately, the drug seekers use all the same tactics. What are your drug allergies?

As far as I know, I'm not allergic to anything. We thought a food allergy was triggering the migraines for a long time, so I went many many years without any pork or chocolate products. Man, did that suck. Sooner or later, I of course ended up consuming both products accidentally, with no ill effects, and that ended that.

[DON SVO]

I was going to tell him congratulations for finally getting 225 lbs up five times.

I was so proud, too!

[davbrucas]

Probably some shit from the 50's Henry is old as fuck.

Probably some Meskin shit.

As far as I know, I'm not allergic to anything. We thought a food allergy was triggering the migraines for a long time, so I went many many years without any pork or chocolate products. Man, did that suck. Sooner or later, I of course ended up consuming both products accidentally, with no ill effects, and that ended that.

I'm surprised you don't have fibromyalgia on your medical history list! Lol

I was so proud, too!

Lol. I doubt I can push 225lbs five times right now. 😳