Meeting people as a mechanic.

[Baron Von Crowder]

I always liked the signs in my buddy's shop:

HOURLY LABOR CHARGES:
$25 per hour
$50 if you watch
$200 if you help


On his tool chest:
I don't ask to borrow your wife.
Don't ask to borrow my tools.

so he would rather someone use them without asking and behind his back?

[LaserSVT]

I always liked the signs in my buddy's shop:

HOURLY LABOR CHARGES:
$25 per hour
$50 if you watch
$200 if you help


On his tool chest:
I don't ask to borrow your wife.
Don't ask to borrow my tools.

[JC316]

Just remembered another one from my old car lot. My business partner bought a Toyota Camry that was starting to smoke. An old lady came in and wanted to buy it. I personally told her that the engine was smoking and likely needed new piston rings, or a new engine down the road. She said it wasn't a problem and agreed to purchase the car for $1100. Two weeks later she came back stating that the battery was bad, my business partner was a good guy and new to the business, so he bought her a new one. I got there and realized that it wasn't the same battery, come to find out, her hood rat grandson stole the good battery that was in the car and she managed to get a new one out of us.

I told him not to help this woman any more. About a month after that, she called up wanting a refund because the engine needed "major work". I finally got on the phone with her and refreshed her memory that I said it would need major work soon. She said that I was a fucking liar and I said that the car was good, and how it needed a new battery. After I said no refunds, she threatened legal action, which never happened.

Not long after that, I bowed out of that business and just started doing mechanic work for my old business partner. He got another Camry that was smoking and this one was a V6. There isn't a V6 engine for that car within 1000 miles of DFW, so I told him that I would rebuild it for him. Did some price checking and a full kit was going to run something like $600 and I would tack on $400 for labor. He said it was too high and that he found a shop that would rebuild it for $300. I told him that parts would cost more than that, but if they can do it, go ahead.

Little while after they got it, the price kept going up, they finally finished at $600. He drove that car from grand prairie to mesquite and the idiots forgot to torque the rod cap bolts and it chucked a rod through the block. They agreed to put in a new engine for free, but you can't find that engine. I think he still has that car, a good reminder that you get what you pay for. I don't blame him for going cheap since the car wasn't worth what I was going to charge, but sometimes it's better to cut and run.

[slow99]

Thought it said, "Meeting people as a Hispanic."

[bcoop]

I'm not a mechanic, but apparently a crazy customer. I took the ex wife's Murano in for an oil change once. Went ahead and had them change the cabin air filter while I was there, so I didn't have to screw with it. When I left, the thing barely ran. Sputtering, seemed like a misfire, etc. I pulled in to the next parking lot I passed, and popped the hood. I didn't see anything wrong, so I took it back. I walked in and told the manager, "I swear, I'm not a crazy customer, but something is seriously wrong, and it wasn't like this before the oil change. Mind you, it ran perfectly and had around 50,000 miles at that point. He kind of rolled his eyes, but drove it around the building. Turns out the tech knocked one of the larger vacuum hoses loose, I assume when changing the cabin filter (I have no idea where those are located).

[Baron Von Crowder]

I'm not a mechanic, but apparently a crazy customer. I took the ex wife's Murano in for an oil change once. Went ahead and had them change the cabin air filter while I was there, so I didn't have to screw with it. When I left, the thing barely ran. Sputtering, seemed like a misfire, etc. I pulled in to the next parking lot I passed, and popped the hood. I didn't see anything wrong, so I took it back. I walked in and told the manager, "I swear, I'm not a crazy customer, but something is seriously wrong, and it wasn't like this before the oil change. Mind you, it ran perfectly and had around 50,000 miles at that point. He kind of rolled his eyes, but drove it around the building. Turns out the tech knocked one of the larger vacuum hoses loose, I assume when changing the cabin filter (I have no idea where those are located).

behind the glove box.

[FATHERFORD]

When working for nitrous outlet, we had a guy from a tow truck company up north asked if he could put a bottle in his truck and just crack the bottle open by hand. His thought process was when they started going up in the mountains to just crack the bottle open for some more oxygen.

We informed him that there was no way that was safe and he would end up with a engine failure. I believe he just ordered a bottle and lines, never heard from him again.

[SMKR]

When working for nitrous outlet, we had a guy from a tow truck company up north asked if he could put a bottle in his truck and just crack the bottle open by hand. His thought process was when they started going up in the mountains to just crack the bottle open for some more oxygen.

We informed him that there was no way that was safe and he would end up with a engine failure. I believe he just ordered a bottle and lines, never heard from him again.

You didn't, but Cummins did

[DON SVO]

Along time ago I had an Asian customer who's speedo didn't work. The speedo drive cable had broken and needed to be replaced. I reviewed with the customer the cost associated with the repair and she approved the repair. She came to pick up the vehicle and wanted a discount and I told her she could clip the coupon from the local paper for the 10% discount. She stated she didn't have time for that and wanted the discount anyway. I explained to her I was unable to do that and she got irate. Mind you I could have given her the discount, but she was rude from the start so I stuck to my guns. She refused to pay without the discount. I went out to the car and promptly cut the cable loose from the transmission and again at the firewall. She was livid after I had done this. I told her she owed me nothing and to have a nice day.

Ahhhhh, I love TuHiz!

"Ahhh, me no rikey yo pricey, you TuHiz!"

[stephen4785]

One night I was working at Petro an Asian guy came in for a tire. Conversation went like this
Asian: How much for tiya?
me: $300
Asian: Gawd daammnn, Gawd daamnn. Cant you glue ole tiya to it?
me: no
Asian: You fix license plate light?
me: Wirings bad. New wire and light is $120.
Asian: Hory shit Gawd daammnn. No no no, you kick that shit, make it werk. Jus kick that shit( he jumps and does a high kick several times.

This guy came in all the time and everytime he moaned and groaned about the prices. But he always paid and he always bought us meals. He'd complain then walk over to the iron skillet and bring back food and say "I bought this fo you cause you shitty mechainc" while smiling. I thougt it was funny and enjoyed watching him run all over the shop high kicking and bitching about prices.

[03mustangdude]

When selling auto parts like 3+ years ago customer comes in with an almost new car 1 year old or so says battery wouldn't start he has to jump.

We test battery tell him its bad. Tell him it has a warranty to just go to dealership and get it changed out. He says he is in a major hurry and if we will change it. Tell him no we wont but pepboys down the street will or we have some tools you can use.

Guy takes off his battery swaps it out ( outside for a good 30-40 minutes) installs battery and comes back in saying the battery is bad and it smells weird. Grab our tester again and sure enough testing it it comes back as a bad battery which is odd and now it smells bad. Look at the posts, guy connected them backwards. Ask him if he tried to start the car he said yes like 5 times. Inform him that he put the battery on backwards and he replies but it still fit?

Anyways grab a screwdriver and pull off fuse box. Every single one of those were burnt black he had to tow the thing to honda and later heard he submitted a "repair reimbursement request" to corporate for 6k.

[YALE]

When I worked at Walmart, I was on the service desk, and had the pleasure of being yelled at by a famous singer that lived in this town. You can probably guess who she is, but I'll go ahead and keep her name out of my mouth, because she's fucking nuts, and I have to live in this town for a while. Anyway, she got an extra $40 back on her debit card that I presume she didn't intend to, which she demanded I put back on her card. Things may have changed since, but at the time, we couldn't do that. She just wouldn't hear it, and got really mad when I started laughing at her for yelling at me. I walked away, and got my manager. Fuck that bitch. I've heard repeatedly that Starbucks has to make her drinks multiple ways when she comes in, because she always orders a drink one way, then decides they made it wrong when she gets to the window.

[SC457A]

Anytime I see one of these posts I think back to the Just Brakes car.

Customer brings in the car for warranty work complaining of calipers leaking. In warranty 3/36 easy. Road test car, stops perfect, pick up car, pull the wheels. Great lining thickness, no leaks anywhere. Have SA call owner, he says call Just Brakes. Talking to the Just Brakes "tech" personally. He says calipers are leaking internally. "no they are not" nothing out of caliper piston's boots on either axle/side.

"oh if they are not now, they will be soon"

[slow99]

When I worked at Walmart, I was on the service desk, and had the pleasure of being yelled at by a famous singer that lived in this town. You can probably guess who she is, but I'll go ahead and keep her name out of my mouth, because she's fucking nuts, and I have to live in this town for a while. Anyway, she got an extra $40 back on her debit card that I presume she didn't intend to, which she demanded I put back on her card. Things may have changed since, but at the time, we couldn't do that. She just wouldn't hear it, and got really mad when I started laughing at her for yelling at me. I walked away, and got my manager. Fuck that bitch. I've heard repeatedly that Starbucks has to make her drinks multiple ways when she comes in, because she always orders a drink one way, then decides they made it wrong when she gets to the window.

Man, I just can't see Kelly Clarkson acting like that.

[YALE]

Man, I just can't see Kelly Clarkson acting like that.

Nice try.