Man card for life

[Rick Modena]

ahahahahahahahah!!!

[jluv]

I think this story and thread deserves a poem.

The itsy bitsy cougar
Came crawling up the trail.
Soap pointed to Ruffdaddy and said
"I dare ya to grab its tail"

So Ruff went up to grab it.
He tried, and tried, and tried.
But the cougar bit him in the face.
He fucking died.

Krazy Kris said "hold ma coons!"
I'll show you fuckers what to do.
He tried to catch it in a noose.
Now he's dead too.

Along came Gasser64
To try to tame the kitten.
He died from massive blood loss
When his dick and balls got bitten.

Ol' Seb jumped out and put up his dukes
Screaming "Death Before Dishonor!"
He tried to power out of the bite.
But he's a goner.

DON SVO showed up to ban the cat
Channeling the spirit of Evil Jose.
You'd think that would work, and he'd still be alive, right?
No fucking way.

Rick Modena hopped over and hit the cougar
With his carbon fiber crutch.
That cougar ate him like rice and beans.
But you probably guessed as much.

Then Craig stepped forward to try his hand
At saving the rest of the group.
He said "Hey cougar, look, it would be nice if you just ran off, or maybe died, but running off would be fine, honestly. I mean, if you die, that also solves our problem. But it's cool if you just run off. I mean look, you killed like six of our members already. You killed Ruffdaddy. Then you killed Krazy Kris. You killed Seb. you killed Gasser64. You actually killed Gasser64 first, and then Seb. I didn't know if I should go in order. And by first, I don't mean you actually killed Gasser64 first. You killed Ruffdaddy first, of course. You killed Gasser64 third. What I meant was that you killed Gasser64 prior to killing Seb. Then you killed Don, which is kind of messed up, because he's the only one here smaller than you. It almost looked like you were playing with him before you ate him. The you killed Rick Modena. I must admit, that was a nice touch when you yelled 'Boooosted, baaaaby!' right before you ate him, by the way. I didn't even realize cougars could talk, so that makes it extra cool. Anyway, will you please just leave us alone now?"
Craig's cougar poop.

SVO showed up with pool skimmer
Tried to snag the cougar's bottom.
After all, he invented cougars (and pools, and bottoms).
The cougar got him.

Then one by one the tiny cougar
Killed everybody dead.
Except for jluv, it let him live
To put a poem up in this thread.

[krazy kris]

Why are they at your feeder B.L.M. protest???

They do like my black feeder the best!

[Gasser64]

Exactly.

Well speak up next time son, nobody can understand you. Also, was his name just "out" before I made the post, or had he voluntarily released it? Big difference, which would make my point still stand. Although yes I do have to admit that I should have read further than just the initial part where he didn't want to say what it was. Who can blame him, people go ape shit if you say you ran over some neighborhood cat that jumps under your tire.

[soap]

You guys ever hold a 10 pound pissed off house cat. I sure as fuck wouldn't want to fuck with any cat over 30 pounds

I used to hate my grandmas cat It was a bitch. This cat was average size Tomcat. One day my doberman cornered the cat. Now I’m trying to save this fucking cat so I quickly grab it To take it to safety. This cat fucked me up it went apeshit On me. Fucker scratched me Bit my balls everything you can think of.

So basically long story short. Anyone who says 40 pound cougar is nothing they either have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about, or watch too many movies. So you Can’t take anything away from the guy.

[soap]

I got 40 pound coons under my feeder lights every night if anyone wants to come make the news.

Why are they at your feeder B.L.M. protest???

[svauto-erotic855]

You guys ever hold a 10 pound pissed off house cat. I sure as fuck wouldn't want to fuck with any cat over 30 pounds

Over the years I have had many house cats tear into me and it ain't fun.

The last time it happened there was a pair of ducks in my pool and I went to throw my cat onto them. The cat was cool with that but the ducks flew off right as I was walking to the edge of the pool with him and he turned into a buzz saw trying to get away from them and me. My GF was watching and could not hold it together laughing seeing me in my underwear will blood running off of my upper body onto my feet. After the initial shock I was laughing too. That was the last time I tried to use a cat named "Combat" as a weapon.

[BradM]

I got 40 pound nuts and you bitches ain't doing shit!

[krazy kris]

I got 40 pound coons under my feeder lights every night if anyone wants to come make the news.

[Sleeper]

You guys ever hold a 10 pound pissed off house cat. I sure as fuck wouldn't want to fuck with any cat over 30 pounds

[svauto-erotic855]

Maybe a savanna cat?

They are a mix of domestic cats and an African wild cat called a serval. I have eaten a serval before.

[soap]

Maybe a savanna cat?

[jluv]

So you're capable of a tantrum and outrage when I exaggerate to prove how stupid the media is...but not capable of understanding how ridiculous this story was from the beginning?

Tantrum and outrage? Dude, that’s rich.

You should see me. I’m stomping around my house screaming and breaking shit.

[Ruffdaddy]

People are pretending he’s a hero? 40 lbs is a baby? Someone said 80 lbs is a monster? And you’re complaining about the media exaggerating. See the irony here?

Who said anything about coyotes? Lol

So you're capable of a tantrum and outrage when I exaggerate to prove how stupid the media is...but not capable of understanding how ridiculous this story was from the beginning?

[lowthreeohz]

I think this story and thread deserves a poem.