Advice (WWYD?)

[mardyn]

I don't want anybody.... drunk or not, asking to spend the night at my home... If I want 'em there, I'll make the invitation prior to anyone asking.

and especially some mofo whom I barely know.

You were in the right, protect you family, your home and your stuff... call Uber and send his drunk ass back home or on down the road.

if he's butt hurt and offended by your comments so be it.

mardyn

[krazy kris]

Jeezis. If you need that as a ground rule, you don't need to concern yourself with having it as a ground rule. Its already happening plenty.

But to the op, yeah I'd say you either offended the guy or made him think you were a little weird for mentioning it, or he really was someone you don't want sleeping on your couch. What would you say if it were you? Something like "Yeah I'm not really planning on that... so... yeah..."

I would say you got it brother, no worries here and thanks for letting me crash.

[Stephen]

Y’all got drunk, hung out, u said something that got him butt-hurt, he left..

Don’t mention it and I bet he doesn’t next time he sees you. If he does he’s a woman.

[Gasser64]

don't fuck my wife

Jeezis. If you need that as a ground rule, you don't need to concern yourself with having it as a ground rule. Its already happening plenty.

But to the op, yeah I'd say you either offended the guy or made him think you were a little weird for mentioning it, or he really was someone you don't want sleeping on your couch. What would you say if it were you? Something like "Yeah I'm not really planning on that... so... yeah..."

[Big A]

My guess is that you got him to thinking about what he would do if he were in your shoes, and he'd have told you to get a hotel.

I personally would have told him no from the get go, and even pony up for a night's stay somewhere if he were hard up. As a husband and a father I know better than to even ask.

If it were me, I'd spend the night at my girlfriend's place...

[Chili]

Meh.. He was probably just drunk.. I wouldn't mention or think about it again unless he brings it up..

[4bangen]

Holy shit dude! That sucks! I'm sorry for all that stuff you are having to go through.

PROTECT YOUR FAMILY! any and everything else is not important. You never know who around you is a fucking monster. Hell! I don't even like people coming in my house at all anymore. I've always said "I'm a winning lotto ticket away from being a full fledged hermit!" but ya... I'd say that dude leaving was best for all involved.

My over all paranoia and general distrust for all humans kept my daughter safe. Another friend of ours was more trusting and is now dealing with an 8yo daughter that's been molested, video taped, and pretty much destroyed emotionally.

[juiceweezl]

The best advice was at the beginning of the thread from Dave -- your house, your rules. Someone doesn't like it? GTFO!

[Rick Modena]

edit: But, for the record, if it were rick modena or broncojohnny that was about to crash on my couch, i would definitely have to go over the no touchy the wifey rule, and i'd probably still lock the bedroom door. Those guys are animals.

[jluv]

It was definitely the rules or that I brought it up that changed his mind. He said you sure you don't mind I said no but I just have 2 rules. After that he said "well I'm a dad and I'm a husband I guess I'll just go try to find my truck and sleep in it." Well if you're a dad and a husband then you know where I'm coming from on these rules?

That right there definitely makes it sound like he was offended. He's saying he's a dad and a husband, so why in the world would you feel the need to mention those rules to him? Being drunk and emotional made him extra-sensitive about it.

Those are going to be automatic "rules" for any dad and husband. They can definitely go unsaid. Saying them out loud makes it seem like you were worried about it and needed to make sure he heard them. I know if I ever felt like someone needed to hear those rules said out loud, they wouldn't be anywhere near my house in the first place. I damn sure wouldn't have offered a place to crash.

I would either let it be water under the bridge, and never mention it again, or if anything, maybe apologize for being so forward, and let him know I didn't mean anything by it.

Chances are he has already forgotten about it. You're overthinking things.

[krazy kris]

It was definitely the rules or that I brought it up that changed his mind. He said you sure you don't mind I said no but I just have 2 rules. After that he said "well I'm a dad and I'm a husband I guess I'll just go try to find my truck and sleep in it." Well if you're a dad and a husband then you know where I'm coming from on these rules?

[jluv]

Maybe he didn't want the kids to see the teacher in a non professional manner.

Maybe he just didn't want to a burden when you reminded him that you had a family

Maybe he just thought you were kind of a dick. He probably thought he knew you well enough that what you said was not required and therefore, took offense. Like if you said "Don't steal my TV". Well, in his mind, that doesn't need to be stated.

Also, pics of wife?

Considering his circumstance he could've been extremely sensitive and desperate for acceptance. Not faulting you for the rules. It could've been your delivery that he didn't like. Most likely was insulted.

All of this, or maybe even not this much.

Any time I've had friends over for drinks, whether long-time friends or relatively new friends, if they get drunk, I always offer them a spare bed or couch to crash instead of driving home. Some take me up on it, and some don't.

I've had more than one occasion where someone initially accepts the offer, and then changes their mind. I've even had it happen where someone goes and lays down, and then gets up shortly after and leaves. And this is without me laying down any kind of rules or saying anything more than "Here's extra blankets" or "The bathroom is right across the hall". It's just what drunk people do. They make decisions on a whim, and they change their minds on a whim. I know I've done the same type of shit when I'm drunk.

So ya, maybe it is nothing more than the guy changing his mind. It's not like he said yes, and then you immediately mentioned your rules, and then he said no. You said there was some time in between where you went and got stuff ready. Those few minutes you left him alone with his own drunk thoughts about wanting to sleep in his own bed, missing his wife, or whatever - that's plenty of time for him to change his mind. And like others mentioned, maybe he didn't want to be seen by your kids like that (pretty wise on his part). And maybe there was a little bit of awkwardness about you mentioning your rules - not that they are bad rules, just that it seems a little forward, and maybe even a tiny bit paranoid on your part. I've never felt the need to say anything like that out loud; it's just a given.

Anyway, it's probably not as big of a deal as you're thinking it might be. My best bet is that you didn't offend him, and he's not a creep. He just changed his mind about crashing at your place.

EDIT: But, for the record, if it were Rick Modena or Broncojohnny that was about to crash on my couch, I would definitely have to go over the no touchy the wifey rule, and I'd probably still lock the bedroom door. Those guys are animals.

[krazy kris]

Take it from a guy who is still cleaning up the mess from a guy I knew for 15 years, that was my best friend for about the last 5 years, and in the last two years was a business partner. Turns out he was a pedophile, rapist, and a thief. He has molested 4 little girls that we know of and assume due to the stuff he said to the undercover agent from homeland security that there's at least one more victim. Dude was lie a brother to me, but still I never let him stay on my couch. My kid was safe because of that.

Holy shit dude! That sucks! I'm sorry for all that stuff you are having to go through.

[Rick Modena]

Y'all fucked out by the fire pit, didn't y'all?

I can't quit youuuuuuu.

hahahaha!

On a serious note, whomever said your house, your rules, that's straight up church.
My rules are similar, don't fuck my wife, my kids or cat. Don't drink all my beer and don't drive my Cobra, can't or won't control yourself, get the fuck out!

[SS Junk]

I don't sugar coat things like that, so I may have came off as a dick.

Totally understood. I just say that because he could've been in a vulnerable state and you harshed his mellow.