Anyone helped a battered woman before?

[big_tiger]

It's late so I'm going to keep it short. Friend has been roughed up a few times, and checked herself into a local psych facility. She spent a week there, and since getting out decided to move out of her apartment early. So a few of her get friends and I packed up her stuff and bright it to my house temporarily. A few days have gone by and tonight she is spending the night with him.
At this point I don't know how to handle this situation. Being a hard ass hasn't worked, but being supportive of her if she decides to try for a third time doesn't seem right either.


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[93LXHORSE]

She will continue to go back to him. People stay in relationships until the bad outweighs the good. Right now she still sees enough "good" in the situation, so she will put up with the "bad".

Not much you can do.

[Sean88gt]

My chick runs an organization that helps domestic violence parties. Ultimately, they have to determine to cut off their addiction to the abuser for leaving to be successful.

[big_tiger]

Fack, I thought she did, but then I find this woe as me love letter he wrote before she checked herself in. It was sitting right on my couch.
To add to the fire, her dad was abusive to her and her mom...

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[93LXHORSE]

She will more than likely always seek a man who is abusive, or gravitate towards one because of her own self esteem issues. In fact, she would probably feel like something was missing if she was with a man who didn't supply at least a little abuse once in a while...

[Scott Mc]

Can't fix it man. Offer direction to help that is away from you.

[4bangen]

Originally Posted by Sean88gt

My chick runs an organization that helps domestic violence parties. Ultimately, they have to determine to cut off their addiction to the abuser for leaving to be successful.

Really the only option.
My wife and I took in a woman and her two kids last year. We paid their way down here from Chicago. We fed and took care of the three of them for weeks, putting our selfs in a financial pinch over the whole thing. Made arrangements for her to have free room and board when she went back, and moved mountains to get her stuff out of the apartment she shared with him up there while she was safe in Texas.
One week after she went back she was back with him and posting about how great her life is and how happy they are.

Best bet is to contact Sean's wife, get her in a shelter, and let the pros handle it.

[BP]

If there aren't kids involved and her life isn't in immediate danger I'd only offer moral support and only if she asked. What you don't want is the boyfriend to convince her you and her friends are the problem.

[big_tiger]

Originally Posted by BP

If there aren't kids involved and her life isn't in immediate danger I'd only offer moral support and only if she asked. What you don't want is the boyfriend to convince her you and her friends are the problem.

He is uber possessive and he already thinks that way. She told me about how one day he flipped out because she wore a thong on a Monday. She is off work on Mondays, and he texts her asking what she is wearing every Monday.

[dee]

Originally Posted by big_tiger

He is uber possessive and he already thinks that way. She told me about how one day he flipped out because she wore a thong on a Monday. She is off work on Mondays, and he texts her asking what she is wearing every Monday.

That's fucking strange.

[Roscoe]

You can't help someone who won't help themselves first.

Genesis Women's Shelter is a good organization.

[juiceweezl]

There should be zero tolerance for anyone in a relationship for physical abuse. Sounds like you are doing all that you can to help her. Hopefully she will get into a shelter somewhere and receive counseling to break the habit.

...and LOL at the SVO deep fried tag.

[clevelandkid]

I really hope you aren't trying to hit that. Drop her off at the shelter, don't invite that drama into your house. She has made her choice, and its him.

[big_tiger]

She is getting counseling, and I think she is still moving to get him out of her life.
Her: "... I get weak, I still slide backwards"
ME: "I hope you keep moving forward."
Her: "I think I will"

About the tags, funnynotfunny

[Forever_frost]

Originally Posted by dee

That's fucking strange.

Not really. It's standard brain washing practice. You get them used to doing little things for you and move it up. Then you dictate their dress and food, modifying behavior you don't like to gain more compliance. It's pretty simple if you have a thought to do it.

[bcoop]

Originally Posted by big_tiger

He is uber possessive and he already thinks that way. She told me about how one day he flipped out because she wore a thong on a Monday. She is off work on Mondays, and he texts her asking what she is wearing every Monday.

I've never understood the insecurity that drives behavior like this. I know someone who was expected to wear a short dress, have full makeup on, hair done, etc 100% of the time when she was at home (stay at home mom). But when she left the house she was to wear jeans and baggy t shirts only, with no makeup. That kind of shit blows my mind. If a woman wants to leave/cheat, she's gonna do it. Silly "rules" in an attempt to control said woman is only going to make her want to leave/cheat more. Controlling men are fucking retarded.

[big_tiger]

Originally Posted by clevelandkid

I really hope you aren't trying to hit that. Drop her off at the shelter, don't invite that drama into your house. She has made her choice, and its him.

Yeah... about that. We dated about a year ago, but it never went anywhere. We would be best friends if I wasn't attracted to her physically, so we stopped talking a few times. I am dating someone else, and I am not going to mess that up for the girl in trouble. They have met, and both have made fun of me on my preference in women.... Asian.

<<< Surprise I know.

[Ruffdaddy]

Originally Posted by big_tiger

Yeah... about that. We dated about a year ago, but it never went anywhere. We would be best friends if I wasn't attracted to her physically, so we stopped talking a few times. I am dating someone else, and I am not going to mess that up for the girl in trouble. They have met, and both have made fun of me on my preference in women.... Asian.

<<< Surprise I know.

The truth comes out. Youre playing with fire man.

[big_tiger]

I would do this for any chick I know... Shit even a guy. Lol I took in my best friends dog because when he moved he lost his backyard.

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[abecx]

You can fix it. Get her an airplane ticket to somewhere else.