rip steve jobs

[Nash B.]

Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies
OCTOBER 6, 2011 | ISSUE 47•40

CUPERTINO, CA—Steve Jobs, the visionary co-founder of Apple Computers and the only American in the country who had any clue what the fuck he was doing, died Wednesday at the age of 56. "We haven't just lost a great innovator, leader, and businessman, we've literally lost the only person in this country who actually had his shit together and knew what the hell was going on," a statement from President Barack Obama read in part, adding that Jobs will be remembered both for the life-changing products he created and for the fact that he was able to sit down, think clearly, and execute his ideas—attributes he shared with no other U.S. citizen. "This is a dark time for our country, because the reality is none of the 300 million or so Americans who remain can actually get anything done or make things happen. Those days are over." Obama added that if anyone could fill the void left by Jobs it would probably be himself, but said that at this point he honestly doesn’t have the slightest notion what he’s doing anymore.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/last-american-who-knew-what-the-fuck-he-was-doing,26268/

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died
OCTOBER 6, 2011 | ISSUE 47•40

BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his fucking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday. “I can’t believe it,” said Cavanaugh, 28, wearing a saddened expression that would make you think he was mourning the loss of his 61-year-old father, Jack, and not a complete goddamn stranger. “He meant a lot to me, and I’ll miss him. I think I might send an e-mail to rememberingsteve@apple.com [instead of contacting the man he hasn’t talked to in a month who helped him with his homework, paid his college tuition, and has supported him throughout his entire life, loving him unconditionally despite his myriad fuckups].” At press time, Cavanaugh reportedly needs to get his fucking priorities straight.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/apple-user-acting-like-his-dad-just-died,26270/

[Pro88LX]

At first i thought the title was RIP Steves job.....i was like hello 2007!

[CJ]

I bought an iPhone 4 in October, and then I bought both of the boys iPhone 3Gs when they dropped to $49. The wife wanted an iPad, so I bought her one for Christmas.

I hate how proprietary Apple is, for instance my son's 3Gs power button stopped functioning, and if it lost a charge, you could not turn it back on.

It was a hardware issue. I took the phone to ATT and they said I had to take it to an Apple store. Why? I got the phone from ATT. The answer is that Apple won't allow a carrier to work on an Apple product.

Same thing when my wife was having issues with her iPad. We had to get an appointment and take the thing to an Apple store 23 miles away.

I will not buy another Apple product.

Same thing with Adobe Flash. I hate not being able to visit sites, or look at stuff because it's not compatible.

Yep. My android phone has had flash for over a year now.

[Bputacoma]

Looks like Jobs is gonna get picketed by Westboro. They surely don't have nothing better to do.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nati...s-funeral.html

Westboro Baptist Church — the small Kansas congregation that has gained notoriety for protesting at the funerals of U.S. soldiers — has a new target: Steve Jobs.

Upon hearing the news of Jobs' death late Wednesday, several church members turned to social media to announce that they would protest at Jobs' funeral as well. (The Washington Post notes that many of these Tweets employed Apple technology and devices to get the word out.)

"Westboro will picket his funeral. He had a huge platform; gave God no glory & taught sin," tweeted Margie Phelps, daughter of the founder of the church, Fred Phelps. She later added: "No peace for man who served self, not God,” she wrote with the hashtag, #hellgreetedhim. “Westboro must picket."

Steve Jobs: 1955-2011

Perhaps you're wondering how they can get away with picketing at funerals. It's because the U.S. Supreme Court said they could. And that's a fact that Phelps knows well. She's an attorney, and successfully argued the church's position in front of the court. The justices ruled earlier this year that Westboro's protests are protected by the 1st Amendment.

Church members travel the country targeting military funerals and anyone or anything seen as promoting a homosexual agenda. They argue that God caused the soldiers' death in reponse to the country's permissive attitudes toward gays and lesbians, and they typically carry signs saying "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and "God Hates Fags."

Efforts to reach church members Thursday were unsuccessful.

So far, no funeral arrangements have been announced for Jobs.

[Binky]

LOL, really? What were his arguments for wanting to eliminate it, and what alternative did he provide?

http://www.apple.com/hotnews/thoughts-on-flash/

His alternative was that people need to rewrite their stuff in HTML5, CSS and Javascript.

[Nash B.]

While I understand Flash is everywhere right now, it's starting to show its age. Jobs was ahead of his time in trying to eliminate it, unfortunately a little too ahead of his time.

LOL, really? What were his arguments for wanting to eliminate it, and what alternative did he provide?

[Ratt]

While I understand Flash is everywhere right now, it's starting to show its age. Jobs was ahead of his time in trying to eliminate it, unfortunately a little too ahead of his time.

[Binky]

Maybe we can now finally get Flash enabled on the ipad/iphones.

[Couver]

Fuck!!! Another Job lost under Obama.

[03trubluGT]

I bought an iPhone 4 in October, and then I bought both of the boys iPhone 3Gs when they dropped to $49. The wife wanted an iPad, so I bought her one for Christmas.

I hate how proprietary Apple is, for instance my son's 3Gs power button stopped functioning, and if it lost a charge, you could not turn it back on.

It was a hardware issue. I took the phone to ATT and they said I had to take it to an Apple store. Why? I got the phone from ATT. The answer is that Apple won't allow a carrier to work on an Apple product.

Same thing when my wife was having issues with her iPad. We had to get an appointment and take the thing to an Apple store 23 miles away.

I will not buy another Apple product.

Same thing with Adobe Flash. I hate not being able to visit sites, or look at stuff because it's not compatible.

[Momentomoir]

That's what I'm saying. If it was an open platform you could attach a keyboard and mouse via the USB port like I can on my Asus Transformer.

This. When the transformer came out I was a Samsung galaxy tab rep...it was a better competitor for once when it came to tablets. I have seen people that actually take the time and try all tablets and hear about them walk away with more Transformers then iPads.

[Hmbre97]

Asus Transformer + keyboard dock = win

[Bassics]

I got a macbook pro and software has been a nightmare. Ubuntu is more plug-n-play freindly than this thing. And it can't be more than a couple years old.

Is it Apple's fault? I dunno, is backwards compatibility not an OS function for the most part?

But it is really well built, I like the port options (why I got it) and it is nice and sleek. For a laptop, the keyboard is actually pretty freindly. That doesn't make it work any better, but I can see why, if you just needed something for email web and such, it would be a decent platform. Price aside.

[bcoop]

That's what I'm saying. If it was an open platform you could attach a keyboard and mouse via the USB port like I can on my Asus Transformer.

I've got a bluetooth keyboard/case. No mouse, but that's not even really a complaint I've had as of yet. I do need to go get one of those handy dandy stylus things though. It's slow as shit, the resolution sucks, etc etc.


But when using as a tablet, or like it was intended. Basically surfing the web, streaming movies, etc, it works flawlessly.

[ceyko]

In my job capacity, (pretty much anything Cisco) we're all switching to Macbook Pros.

In fairness we run Windows in Fusion, but I like the hardware and the functionality of Mac OS for anything I do that does not require Windows.

Now our sales people try to use them and generally fail. However, the technical group is full on Mac at this point.