Dating people with kids

[Blakeski]

Let me start off with the fact that I am fed up. I am dating this girl who has a 4 year old that doesn't listen for shit! She literally whines about everything and always gets her way. I am at the breaking point and bout to call it quits because it bothers me so much! This is the 2nd time I have dated someone with a daughter who acts like this. Do I have a right to yell at the little girl and tell her to straighten up? My daughter is 5 and this kinda shit doesn't fly with me. The thing that bothers me most is coming in to the bedroom in the middle of the night crying saying she wants to sleep with her. I am losing sleep and the stress is adding up. Any suggestions appreciated!

[347Mike]

Let me start off with the fact that I am fed up. I am dating this girl who has a 4 year old that doesn't listen for shit! She literally whines about everything and always gets her way. I am at the breaking point and bout to call it quits because it bothers me so much! This is the 2nd time I have dated someone with a daughter who acts like this. Do I have a right to yell at the little girl and tell her to straighten up? My daughter is 5 and this kinda shit doesn't fly with me. The thing that bothers me most is coming in to the bedroom in the middle of the night crying saying she wants to sleep with her. I am losing sleep and the stress is adding up. Any suggestions appreciated!

If all you are doing is dating with no marriage in sight then no, you don't have the right to yell at her. It also depends on how long you two have been dating and what you and the mother have discussed about how to handle her daughter.. It's really up to her on how to handle that and you two need to talk through it. If you are just dating then she may want you to go to her (the mom) for disciplining and handling her. If marriage is something yall have talked about maybe she is alright with you taking a little bit of that on, but I wouldn't just jump into it assuming you can yell at her.

That's like making a post about can I yell at the shit stains that wreak havoc in Walmart? Sure, but the parents most likely won't like it. You need to talk to her about it and depending on how that goes that should make up your mind on the matter.

[01vnms4v]

Fuck chicks with kids. Been their done that. Lesson learned.

Never again!

[sc281]

Sit your gf down and tell her whats up. Tell her this wont fly and needs to be corrected, and if it isnt then you are gone.

I have too little patience for shit like that. Hell, I have a hard time committing to a gf for any petiod longer than about a year, much less a kid.

[Blakeski]

There is NO DISCIPLINE though! AT ALL! This child comes in early as fuck asking for icepops and cookies! When she is fed something she says she isn't hungry then 10 minutes later she's asking for junk food! It drives me nuts! I have raised my daughter to be respectful and this kid just doesn't have it. The last girl I dated with a child this age pulled the same stuff. I don't get it, if my child disrespects me their are punishments, I don't threaten, I act.

[Blakeski]

Sit your gf down and tell her whats up. Tell her this wont fly and needs to be corrected, and if it isnt then you are gone.

I have too little patience for shit like that. Hell, I have a hard time committing to a gf for any petiod longer than about a year, much less a kid.

And how does this go over? She has told me that my daughter behaves very well, and the most I have been able to tell her without coming across as an asshole is "I'm not as nice as you"

[347Mike]

There is NO DISCIPLINE though! AT ALL! This child comes in early as fuck asking for icepops and cookies! When she is fed something she says she isn't hungry then 10 minutes later she's asking for junk food! It drives me nuts! I have raised my daughter to be respectful and this kid just doesn't have it. The last girl I dated with a child this age pulled the same stuff. I don't get it, if my child disrespects me their are punishments, I don't threaten, I act.

Here is how I look at it. Talk to her see what she needs (the mom). Is she stressed, does she know what she is doing may not be ideal for her kid, is she willing to change, does she need help?

If she thinks her little princess does no harm then you know you are in trouble and that no matter what you do it will not change. If so, this will forever be an issue and will only get worse as she gets older.

[grove rat]

yea if you see no real future with her then don't waste your breath on talking about her kid. if you do then maybe you should reconsider because if you guys move in together, it WILL be an issue i promise you

best of luck to you

[Silverback]

Why would you want to date someone who can't handle their own child, and raises them in a different fashion than you would? To me if you aren't on the same page on how to raise a kid then it's time to move on.

[krazy kris]

dude just flea because think about it like this if things do go further and say you move in together then that shit is going to rub off on your kid. Just jet man

[Blakeski]

Here is how I look at it. Talk to her see what she needs (the mom). Is she stressed, does she know what she is doing may not be ideal for her kid, is she willing to change, does she need help?

If she thinks her little princess does no harm then you know you are in trouble and that no matter what you do it will not change. If so, this will forever be an issue and will only get worse as she gets older.

Dude she is stressed to the max! This little girl is hell on wheels!

[talisman]

You can't fix someone else's bad parenting. That is pretty much the best angle to look at this from.

[DON SVO]

I'd hate to think about what the influence she is having on your own daughter causes.

[347Mike]

Dude she is stressed to the max! This little girl is hell on wheels!

Then that is probably what the problem is. If you are at all serious about the relationship I would ask if she needs help (only if you are willing). If you're not, then bounce like others have said, but I bet you she probably can't handle it for whatever reason and does the things she does as a short term fix without looking at the long term affects of doing them. Blended families are tough and kids can be even more difficult to handle but the ultimate decision is up to you though.

[Blakeski]

I don't even know how to approach her about this, my girl is about 10 years older than me, and I don't want to make her feel like I am trying to belittle her...but on the other hand I have almost 2 years more exp. parenting then she.