Things that every redneck know...

[Shaggin Wagon]

..or how hot is "hotter than four balled tom cat."

[TeeShock]

Ran like a sewing machine

Easy as pie

[TeeShock]

Shittin like a coon on Crisco

Green apple splatters

[TeeShock]

It don't matter. One way or another. I can look up a cows ass and tell you the price of butter

[jyro]

sharper than tacks

clean as a whisle
how fast is a "flying motherfker"
so tough he eats nails for breakfast

[TeeShock]

How to smoke a whole chken with 4 pieces of charcoal

[TeeShock]

Which way the terlit swirls

[Big A]

-Just how lucky IS a 3-peckered monkey?

Not very if he's only got two hands.

[Kimmypie]

When to scratch his watch & wind his ass

[Frank]

More useless than hind tit on a boar hog

[ThreeFingerPete]

how hot it is in a whore house on nickle night

Busier than a $2 whore on nickel night

Or how mad a one legged man in a ass kicking contest is.

Busier.

hens teeth

Don't exist, so very.

two pigs in a tow sack

Never heard that. Sounds stupid

It is my understanding an RCH is finer form of measurement then a standard CH.

Bingo

What is the distance a hair is past a freckle?

That's what time its said to be while
glancing at a watch-less wrist.

Precisely how busy a one armed paper hanger really is.

Very

That bears really do shit in the woods and wipe his ass with a rabbit.

don't combine
an idiom and a joke, you just ruined
both

How to make a trout line, and or jug line.

Trot

What a cow pissing on flat rock is like.

Like a gnarly rainstorm

Why is a "New York minute" different that anywhere else?

ever spent time in the woods? Time trickles by, New York is the opposite
of rural America and consequently, time flies.

How broad the side of a barn is.

Any building that isn't a cube has a broad side, and its dimension doesn't matter as its scaled to the barn.

How dumb someone has to be if they can't tell their ass from a hole in the ground.

Petyweestraw

[SS Junk]

Whether or not the ass of a bull can actually be hit with a bass fiddle.

[jyro]

[QUOTE=ThreeFingerPete;821482]


never heard of
"her ass looks like 2 pigs in a tow sack" ?

[Gear_Jammer]

Is it really possible to be "dumber than a box of rocks?" Nevermind...I've been on on this board long enough to know the answer.

[Jester]

slicker than snot!