an open call to all in my clan...

[DON SVO]

Look man. I said I'd do something about Gasser64. Just give me time!

[Stephen]

I'm prepared. I'm getting better/stronger/sharper every day, but I'm ready to meet my opportunity. I feel it coming VERY soon.



man, I burnt a LOT when I first quit drinking... to ease the cravings and such. and i am NOT a teetotaler. I fucking LOVED drinking! I think I just finally drank enough LOL I think the universe was telling me to save a little for the rest of the folks

So yeah, I was burning quite a bit at first, but it honestly eventually got to where it wasn't really effecting me as much and it was drying out my throat, etc.

it's like I just kinda naturally transitioned from a natural herbal high to a full on natural high.



oh, you down, son... you DOWN!!!

it feels like it may have been a little too long since I saw you last... What was that, 1998-99ish at Majestic?

Congrats on quitting drinking! I'm almost at 10 months without a drop.. Looks like I'm quitting the same way you did..

[Cooter]

Justin, I owe you too... I recently made statements to some of my closest friends on the forum that I was probably going to leave the board eventually if you were still around...

but how silly is that... how silly to let ONE person spoil my good time with all my friends?!!?

Well fuck that and YOU! LOL!

BUT... over time I came to realize that the reason I disliked you so much is that you remind me of a younger me that was wasting my life, and spinning my wheels... frustrated for it and mad at the world... and talking shit to ALL of it!!

well, I'm no longer that angry young man anymore...

and I NOW know that there's nothing wrong with being an angry young man... this country was FORGED by angry young men.

BUT, I have learned that the KEY is not to ACT OUT OF THAT ANGER!!!!!!!

The anger is because you know there's something majorly wrong with everything and KNOW that it shouldn't be that way, and (most importantly!) that it doesn't NEED to be that way!

I'm here to teach YOU that the fire of that anger will NEVER go out... You will NEVER be free of it... BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you let that fire burn wild and flow from your mind and fingers, it's very easy to burn down everything around you... and if you're not careful, you'll burn yourself and everybody you love down. I came very close to that my friend... frighteningly close...

I suppose that fear is what finally made me sit down, shut the fuck up , and let the universe tell me what to do.

Well, my friend? I did just that... but going into it, I told myself that I was going to start looking for the positive in live and having a positive outlook...

At first? That's all it was... I was not a positive person. I didn't see the good in much of anything. EXCEPT in all of my friends and family, but they were having much trouble and strife in all of their lives...

But Justin, over the past 8 months? I've slowly come to only seeing the positive in life anymore...

Justin, I was the saddest person you could know... I had everything that a man could ever want in life, but I was in such pain that I couldn't understand why... and that made me hurt even more... and I couldn't understand how those who seemed to have maybe fewer "gifts" in life could be so happy while I was so blue...

And it made me cry... far too often... I felt like a crybaby my whole life. I was made fun of it countless times as a young man, and I felt like a little baby and not a man my whole life... which made me cry even furthur....

Well, my friend... I FINALLY realized a VERY short 8 months later that crying is love... if you're crying for no reason... or crying because you're lost in the woods without a friend in the world, you're crying out of love for yourself because you know deep down that you deserve to be happy. And how sad for such a bright, intelligent, capable individual to be so unhappy.

Well Justin? after 8 months of making that decree to the universe, it has fed me nothing but positivity...

I cry all the time now, but I'm only able to cry happy tears... you see, I have so much love in my heart for all my friends and family that I cry all the time... I always have... But whenever I find myself crying

(which is about 10 times a day now that I've quit stifling myself and quit beating myself up for being such a sensitive person!)

I realize that I'm crying out of love, and I instantly get a smile on my face and they turn to happy tears.

So I've been crying tears of joy for the past week, and it's been the most amazing week of my 38yrs.

And Justin, I don't want you to have to wait 38yrs.

You deserve it right now, just like each and every one of my brothers on this earth.

Oh yeah, about that... so... since you done went and taught me quite possibly the most valuable lesson of all? I believe you saved my life... And quite possibly the lives of everybody I hold true in this world. And for that, I'm in your debt forever, and I will carry you with me forever.

You can troll all you want! My little brother was a little devil just like you and me. He was my real life little troll growing up, and we cut a path across the world together laughing all the way!

But I lost him far too early, and I've been crying ever since

My parents had me, and they wanted a little girl... they picked the name, and she was on her way...

But my life wasn't headed down the right path... I was the most sensitive little baby they'd ever created... WAY too big of a pussy to make it through the tough times of being abandoned at daycare, being bullied as a very young boy, etc.

So at the very last second, my sneaky little troll of a brother, jumped his happy ass into the fire and SURPRISE Richard and Jane, you're having TWINS!!!

So Curtis Nearing was born. And he didn't look quite like the rest of us. A little different skin tone. A little different build. A little different facial features, etc.

He was definitely the black sheep of the family, but he wore it well, and he brought joy to me.

Well, you see, he was never meant to be here. That's why his life was so painful, so full of strife, and he was way too close to the other side. He hadn't been prepared properly to return.

Nope, he saw an eternal brother in need, so he said well if none of you lazy pussies are going to do it, I'll jump in that fire and burn my entire life to help my brother, Forrest... He's going to do such great, amazing things that he NEEDS a little brother.

He was the only one brave enough to do it.

But he was too closely linked to the other side to make it in this world... He started getting confused in his late teens/early 20's. I suppose he was confused his whole life. So very confused. Because he had such fresh memory of the other side. That confusion eventually led him to hard drugs, and he overdosed like the Jim Morrison that he seemed to think he was.

Crazy boy had Alzheimer's! Thought he was somebody else.

Well Justin? I believe now that he was. He jumped into an eternal fire to help me find my way out of it. Because he KNEW that if I could just EVER find my way out... That I possessed the tools to help everybody else out of it.

Not that I MYSELF could do it... But that I had enough love in my heart and was good enough at making friends... that I could help lift up every single one of those friends in my life. I could help lift them out of the fire of the anger that they were burning in.

And Justin? If you put that fire down and quit trying to burn everything down? It will burn in your gut like the coals in a freight train... And if you just hang tight for a while and let it burn... you won't be able to see a fucking thing. You'll be spinning around blind...

like a freight train in a railroad roundhouse you'll be spinning like crazy, but your WHEELS won't be spinning like crazy...

think of it like spinning a top... and the whole while those coals will burn hotter and hotter...

and eventually that roundhouse will quit spinning so quickly and it'll start slowing down... and right about the time that fire in your furnace is about to explode? that round house will quit spinning, a door will open, and those train wheels will slowly start spinning on their own...

and buddy? once they start spinning? Think about Back to the Future III... that fire just keeps burning hotter and hotter, and that freight train keeps going faster and faster into a bright future.

Justin, it's still cloudy and raining outside... there's thunder cracking literally right now outside my rain-covered window...

But my train is rolling, and it's moving eternally faster by the moment. And I know that it is going to show me countless sunny skies, so I'm not worried about the rain. But when it's sunny too long, it'll take me to the next rain too

So... Long story short? Nahhh, you're crazy bright... you probably read that in about twenty seconds.

I have much more to share with you if you'll let me. I'll never talk of books of fiction. Nor will I suggest that we have to sit in some dark old hall full of stained glass to figure out where we're supposed to be headed... Nope, I'll only tell you of actual things that *I* have experienced in my own life.

I'll tell you ever sordid, embarrassing detail of my life. I'll cry like a fucking baby about ten times within 1hr, but every time I do, you'll see it turn to a smile.

Justin, you saved my life. As such, I am in your debt forever. And it's my turn to help lift you up so that you can see what I can from up here. And buddy, I'm not very high up right now. I'm about a 1/4" off the ground. But that's just fine. I'm still plenty close to pick up my brothers...

Now I know why you kept sticking around all these years!!!

Have a great weekend. Spend time with your loving wife. Close the fucking computer and just spend some time in love this weekend!

We'll talk more in the future, I know it...

I'm confident you can power through it all. Hang in there man.

No more hanging in here... my life raft arrived long ago. But thank you. That confidence you have in me is the same confidence that everybody that I've surrounded myself with for my entire life have had in me...

I just never had it. But I inadvertently picked the PERFECT lot of rebels, misfits, and trouble-makers to carry me for 37.75 yrs until it was my time to carry the whole fucking ship of fools into the lives we're meant to be living.

Well I have it now. My confidence is glowing like a fucking diamond.

so...



Hang tight, my friends... if you're lost in the woods, I've found a way out!

[Cooter]

Look man. I said I'd do something about Gasser64. Just give me time!

no need... Justin's good... we're here to help him along. He's been asking for our help for years, we just couldn't hear him.

[Tremor14]

Musta knocked her up!

[Cooter]

ok damnit, who posted the tag "good luck with new gunt"?

PM me your fucking address, because that shit just cracked me the fuck up!! LOL

[Cooter]

Musta knocked her up!

not yet! But I finally feel like we're ready. We've picked the names. Going to wait a little bit, but probably not much longer.

It's funny, I've always been a late bloomer, but I've always been such a child at heart, it doesn't really matter...

I'm 38, but I feel like a 25yr old kid. So bring on a baby! by the time they come around, my furnace will be glowing at a strength I can only imagine from here

[Big A]

no need... Justin's good... we're here to help him along. He's been asking for our help for years, we just couldn't hear him.

Or he's just a pathologically lying troll... Careful not to project too much of your own good-hearted nature onto others, there are those who are truly sick beyond human help.

That said, I do fully believe that everyone deserves a second chance, if for no other reason than that it's not up to me to say otherwise. Good on you for taking the high-road, it's much easier to loft others up from there.

Sounds like maybe you met my buddy Bill Wilson, if so, awesome. If not, I'll some of whatever your having.

[Big A]

not yet! But I finally feel like we're ready. We've picked the names. Going to wait a little bit, but probably not much longer.

It's funny, I've always been a late bloomer, but I've always been such a child at heart, it doesn't really matter...

I'm 38, but I feel like a 25yr old kid. So bring on a baby! by the time they come around, my furnace will be glowing at a strength I can only imagine from here

Seriously, were we separated at birth? I'm hearing a lot of what you just threw down, and even on a similar timeline. We're going to start trying in about 6 months.

[Cooter]

also, I think that whole train metaphor is the reason me and most of my friends are straight line acceleration junkies...

that's why I've always been into drag racing...

that's why I hate EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING about air travel... the airport, the lines, the overpriced everything, the tiny seats, etc. etc. EXCEPT!!!! The take-off!!!

Because I'm meant to live in that sensation of eternal acceleration forever! And you all are too... that's why we crave acceleration... and that fire and that drive is also why we crave booze, crappy food, etc. you need to quench a fire down if it starts burning a little out of control!!

now that my train's rolling? I don't want ANYTHING that will quench this fire!!! faster and farther, my brothers... we are shooting stars!

[Rick Modena]

Maybe it could be the alcohol. I mean I stopped drinking beer the day of the Superbowl. Slammed me down a 12 pack of Dos XX's and haven't looked back. No more mind altering drugs either. I have had a few Knobs with ice and water, but its been like four times. Life isn't that much different but it is clearer. It has given me a different outlook, I don't get pissed off, I'm thinking more about what I say before I say it, as to not hurt other people around me especially the ones I really do care about. Also not saying things and letting shit go, really helps a lot, specifically if it isn't going to help the situation or change the people that I'm wanting to spew my hate towards.

[Cooter]

Or he's just a pathologically lying troll... Careful not to project too much of your own good-hearted nature onto others, there are those who are truly sick beyond human help.

That said, I do fully believe that everyone deserves a second chance, if for no other reason than that it's not up to me to say otherwise. Good on you for taking the high-road, it's much easier to loft others up from there.

Sounds like maybe you met my buddy Bill Wilson, if so, awesome. If not, I'll some of whatever your having.

Nope... I refuse to believe it... He lifted me up whether he meant to or not, so it is my job to lift him up... I'm not saying I'm going to move into his garage and be his servant. I'm just saying that every move I make will be to lift my friends and family up.

If he is still lost in the woods, I will just accept that it isn't his time to come out, but I'll never quit inviting him to step out of them whenever he's ready.

I have been to Bill's house a few times. He has helped COUNTLESS of my friends, family, loved ones.

But I have never been able to ask for help, remember? So that just wasn't my path... but I'm a special kind of fool... I walk a different line... always have, always will

Me and god are cool. I love god, and god loves me. That was never a question in my heart, so I never really bothered him much, and he's never bothered me much either! LOL

And Aaron, when I come out and meet up with you, I'll share everything I've discovered if you want me to. I'll definitely let you have some of what I'm having! There's plenty to go around, and I've got an endless supply!

Seriously, were we separated at birth? I'm hearing a lot of what you just threw down, and even on a similar timeline. We're going to start trying in about 6 months.

It's the time of us all, my brother!

[Big A]

I'm looking forward to it, plenty of God's country out here to enjoy. Wine country is a beautiful place to visit, more so when you look well past all the wine.

[Cooter]

Maybe it could be the alcohol. I mean I stopped drinking beer the day of the Superbowl. Slammed me down a 12 pack of Dos XX's and haven't looked back. No more mind altering drugs either. I have had a few Knobs with ice and water, but its been like four times. Life isn't that much different but it is clearer. It has given me a different outlook, I don't get pissed off, I'm thinking more about what I say before I say it, as to not hurt other people around me especially the ones I really do care about. Also not saying things and letting shit go, really helps a lot, specifically if it isn't going to help the situation or change the people that I'm wanting to spew my hate towards.

That does my heart good, Henry... that's so good to hear...

There's nothing wrong with a couple fingers of whiskey every now and then. My problem is that my drive and craving for this rocket-ship to glory is so strong, that when I poured booze on it, it just caught fire instead of cooling it off so it didn't burn out of control...

it would cool it at first, but it felt so good, I'd keep trying to cool it, and that's when the fire got lit! LOL And boy did we have some times!

Anyhow, I'm with you. I turned the TV off a few weeks ago. I don't click on threads with ominous/negative titles, etc.

I've had a fucking lifetime of negativity and sadness. Just like I've had my full fair share of alcohol, I've also had my lifetime's share of negativity and sadness. You don't just arrive at that point from the jump... we all have to walk through the fire... and it sucks...

but man, it sure is cool when you get clear of it...

I'm doing the same... not flying off the handle. Taking a pause to make sure that what I'm about to say is nurturing and healing. And if I DO get fussy, I cool that shit RIGHT back down. Why would I get fussy with my loved ones? They're not what I'm ACTUALLY mad/frustrated with in this world!

[jluv]

Seriously, were we separated at birth? I'm hearing a lot of what you just threw down, and even on a similar timeline. We're going to start trying in about 6 months.

Word. I'll be 39 in May and we're finally going to stop preventing it from happening, maybe late this year. It's good to know I won't be the only old dad around. Most of my friends' kids are graduating high school now.