Juvenile question.

[Ktulu]

Take him to a boxing gym, or mma gym, where it's legal to put hands on him, because after all y'all are "training."

I know a good place.

[samuel642000]

Take him to a boxing gym, or mma gym, where it's legal to put hands on him, because after all y'all are "training."

[Craizie]

It's a tough situation all around and there really isn't a 'right' answer. Having experienced it from every possible angle a man can, I can really see all sides. If you stick around, be that mentor that he needs. If he rejects it there is not much you can do. But chances are, if you do take the role of being a positive male role model, he will recognize that, probably at some point later in life.

My dad was a good example of that with my step-siblings. Most of them disliked him pretty intently at the beginning. Not due to his actions, but because of their issues with their mom's divorce in the first place. My step-sister was the worst, since she was the only one still underage when my dad and step-mom got married. There was a lot of conflict over the years. But as she became an adult, and to this day, she considers him just as much of a father, or even more-so, than the somewhat absentee bio-dad was.

Having been a step-child, I always questioned my step-parents' intentions with me, and honestly was never very comfortable around either. I was about 9 when both parents re-married. As an adult I can easily see their actions were reasonable, and came from a positive place, but as a kid there was still a slight feeling that they didn't give a shit about me. Not that their actions ever should have led me to believe that, but kids just aren't typically emotionally developed enough to see what is really going on.

Again, I appreciate the advice. I've never had step parents, and I've never had kids, nor have I ever been with anyone that had kids prior to this.

[Chili]

I get what you're saying. Appreciate the advice.

It's a tough situation all around and there really isn't a 'right' answer. Having experienced it from every possible angle a man can, I can really see all sides. If you stick around, be that mentor that he needs. If he rejects it there is not much you can do. But chances are, if you do take the role of being a positive male role model, he will recognize that, probably at some point later in life.

My dad was a good example of that with my step-siblings. Most of them disliked him pretty intently at the beginning. Not due to his actions, but because of their issues with their mom's divorce in the first place. My step-sister was the worst, since she was the only one still underage when my dad and step-mom got married. There was a lot of conflict over the years. But as she became an adult, and to this day, she considers him just as much of a father, or even more-so, than the somewhat absentee bio-dad was.

Having been a step-child, I always questioned my step-parents' intentions with me, and honestly was never very comfortable around either. I was about 9 when both parents re-married. As an adult I can easily see their actions were reasonable, and came from a positive place, but as a kid there was still a slight feeling that they didn't give a shit about me. Not that their actions ever should have led me to believe that, but kids just aren't typically emotionally developed enough to see what is really going on.

[Craizie]

I didn't say he should marry her, just that if he was not married to her, then he needs to leave the parenting to the parent. Until or unless that happens, he is just a dude living in the house.

Sure, he can have conversations with the mother about the kid, give her advice, etc, but the ultimate responsibility is on her. If you don't think she is doing right by the kid, your choice is to stay and put up with it, or leave. Just cause you hang out with a mother does not make you the father by default.

All that said, you can still be a positive role model, but it should be more like a mentor relationship, not that of a disciplinarian.

Again, just my opinions..

I get what you're saying. Appreciate the advice.

[Chili]

Henry hit the nail on the head, but I don't think you should marry her like he and Craig suggested.

I didn't say he should marry her, just that if he was not married to her, then he needs to leave the parenting to the parent. Until or unless that happens, he is just a dude living in the house.

Sure, he can have conversations with the mother about the kid, give her advice, etc, but the ultimate responsibility is on her. If you don't think she is doing right by the kid, your choice is to stay and put up with it, or leave. Just cause you hang out with a mother does not make you the father by default.

All that said, you can still be a positive role model, but it should be more like a mentor relationship, not that of a disciplinarian.

Again, just my opinions..

[SS Junk]

Third, all of these problems are coming from guess what? POOR PARENTING!

Par for the course in divorce cases when the mother becomes a full time parent. The mother is supposed to be the nurturer and the father the disciplinarian. If the father isn't around kids are going to act out.

[Craizie]

Henry hit the nail on the head, but I don't think you should marry her like he and Craig suggested.

I aint ever getting married.

[bcoop]

Henry hit the nail on the head, but I don't think you should marry her like he and Craig suggested.

[Craizie]

Haha!


There's only a few really good answer to your questions here, Chili and Bcoop since theirs are the only two I can remember from reading the entire thread.

First off, these are my opinions, your probably not going to follow any of the good advise given here, but here goes nothing.

You and his mother need to respect his privacy. You walked in on him getting his freak on (you'd be fucking pissed too). By respect I mean knocking on the door BEFORE you walk in, I don't want to see a naked 15 year old girl or boy. Yes, you all did say no one in the house, but really, chicks don't count, I sneaked in plenty of hoes in my room when I was a young "playa" (never got caught either). Also, teenagers need privacy regardless of their age. You can peek through their shit when they are not there, it is your house after all.

Second, Like Chili already said, its a hard thing being a step father, but seeing as you haven't stepped up to the plate and married his mom and take full responsibility for this young chap (that obviously needs a father figure in his life) you really can't say or do anything until you do. You also already stated that you have "time put in" on this relationship, then step up and marry her or move out. "You can't love the mother if you can't love her kids"

Third, all of these problems are coming from guess what? POOR PARENTING! A 15 year old at the park hanging with wiggers? No sports or advanced learning classes to keep him occupied? Taking away his xbox and then allowing him to sleep all day? I know the lawn needs mowing, trash needs to be taken out and I'm sure his room is a fucking mess.
Of course he's lashing out, because he knows (because of poor parenting) that nothing is going to happen, just a bunch of empty threats of screaming and yelling.
Kids need guidance and good parenting, I suggest you two grow a pair and step up to the plate* in your won respective ways...


*This last comment has nothing to do with being a tough guy either.

I don't disagree with you. He's never had anyone to follow through with a punishment before. He's actually really clean. He doesn't like mess at all. No lawn to mow, and we don't produce that much trash...

And he is in AP classes, and even has a few off campus classes at TCC.

Also, the privacy thing... He came out and talked to us, and then went into the restroom. She wen't in there to retrieve his laundry. It's not like we opened the door and yelled " Surprise, Cockfag!"

[Rick Modena]

can you or can you not get "other ho's"??

Haha!


There's only a few really good answer to your questions here, Chili and Bcoop since theirs are the only two I can remember from reading the entire thread.

First off, these are my opinions, your probably not going to follow any of the good advise given here, but here goes nothing.

You and his mother need to respect his privacy. You walked in on him getting his freak on (you'd be fucking pissed too). By respect I mean knocking on the door BEFORE you walk in, I don't want to see a naked 15 year old girl or boy. Yes, you all did say no one in the house, but really, chicks don't count, I sneaked in plenty of hoes in my room when I was a young "playa" (never got caught either). Also, teenagers need privacy regardless of their age. You can peek through their shit when they are not there, it is your house after all.

Second, Like Chili already said, its a hard thing being a step father, but seeing as you haven't stepped up to the plate and married his mom and take full responsibility for this young chap (that obviously needs a father figure in his life) you really can't say or do anything until you do. You also already stated that you have "time put in" on this relationship, then step up and marry her or move out. "You can't love the mother if you can't love her kids"

Third, all of these problems are coming from guess what? POOR PARENTING! A 15 year old at the park hanging with wiggers? No sports or advanced learning classes to keep him occupied? Taking away his xbox and then allowing him to sleep all day? I know the lawn needs mowing, trash needs to be taken out and I'm sure his room is a fucking mess.
Of course he's lashing out, because he knows (because of poor parenting) that nothing is going to happen, just a bunch of empty threats of screaming and yelling.
Kids need guidance and good parenting, I suggest you two grow a pair and step up to the plate* in your won respective ways...


*This last comment has nothing to do with being a tough guy either.

[Craizie]

Didn't read the entire thread, but is it involving a black chick's unfathered child trying to act like a man?

Negative.

[Sean88gt]

Didn't read the entire thread, but is it involving a black chick's unfathered child trying to act like a man?

[BP]

I'd get some flyers from different boarding and military schools and lay them randomly around the house. Trump graduated from the NY Military Academy and he turned out alright.

[bcoop]

Man, it isn't worth it. Find a new broad.