Work edicut rant

[Ruffdaddy]

Yeah 3 different types of cheese in 1 sitting is real healthy....

[The King]

Those look like cruciferous vegetables in the black container, broccoli perhaps? If so he's eating healthy, although it might be making him gassy. Do I see prednisone eye drops on the desk too?

[Craizie]

The only obvious next move is to replace his eye drops with hydrochloric acid.

[4bangen]

So he came back from lunch with a fresh supply of food. this is his post lunch "snack"

the cup had some kind of pasta salad that smelled strongly of Dill. I brought it up to him and he didn't seem to be bothered. As for shaming him passive aggressively, it doesn't work. I'd spoken loudly and emphatically many times in the little office that I can't stand rude people who eat on the phone. He responds with, "oh ya I hate when people smack while they eat." He also constantly squeezes air out of his cheeks making a fart like sound, watches tv on his phone with one ear bud in, and did I mention he parks two cars in the over crowded employee parking lot and alternates which car he takes home because he doesn't have room for both at home? Once when he was going on vacation he left both cars here and had his wife pick him up. He was gone for 4 days. He's basically a real life cartoon of the worst cartoon office enemy. lol He's also consistently the poorest preforming person in the department. I think of him as the canary in a coal mine. I know I'm not in trouble until he gets canned.

I feel better after posting this and thanks for being my sounding board. I may try some of the things posted here. But mostly I'm going to suck it up and deal with it. I like my job and make okay money at it. If anything he keeps it interesting around here.

[AnthonyS]

He's the first mother fucker to go to HR anytime something offends him. And ya he reheats food. shit there are literally days where he runs down to his car and brings more food back up. He's at lunch right now, and I can almost guarantee he will come back to work then eat a full meal at his desk. then spend the rest of the day belching and complaining about heartburn.
The worst is when he eats boiled peanuts. He somehow makes it sound like he's slurping oysters.

Ask for your own office? Work from home? Ask for an eating only in designated areas rule for sanitary reasons? Or eat durian fruit at your desk for revenge! Hide an old rotten fish head in his car?

[Rick Modena]

Complain to HR about his higene.

hehe

hahaha!

[Big A]

Eddiecut -->

[BP]

A steady diet of high fiber vegetables, kombucha and chorizo should help clear things up.

[Craizie]

Complain to HR about his higene.

hehe

[4bangen]

He's white as can be.

but I'm a minority in my own home. I'm the only one who has to use sunscreen. lol

[4bangen]

You're going to have to out do him. I mean, hang all the Mexican bullshit on your desk that'll fit. Then talk to him in Spanish and be the most obscene mother fucker in that room. I'd even change your ringtone to some Mexican music. Then insult the ass wipe about his eating.


In fact, eating reheated food in a room that small would be cause for a fucking brawl, right there. I'm sure at some point he has reheated something that just smells like ass and took it in that room. Again, you're going to have to out do him along with just insulting the piss out of him. It probably wouldn't do a whole lot but there would be some level of mutual understanding of what you really think about him.

Every time he scrapes the bowl with his spoon, remind him that it's fucking empty. I mean just belittle that little twat like there's no tomorrow.

He's the first mother fucker to go to HR anytime something offends him. And ya he reheats food. shit there are literally days where he runs down to his car and brings more food back up. He's at lunch right now, and I can almost guarantee he will come back to work then eat a full meal at his desk. then spend the rest of the day belching and complaining about heartburn.
The worst is when he eats boiled peanuts. He somehow makes it sound like he's slurping oysters.

[GeorgeG.]

so you're white hispanic? I'd start playing that way if i were you. Get some latino friends if you don't have any and introduce them as family.

Be passive aggressive as shit. Call friend at work and then bitch them out for eating while on the phone because it sounds " fucking disgusting you fat piece of shit ". Say it loud enough so el gordo hears it, but make sure it's not directed at him.

ftfy

[Craizie]

I'm practically see through I'm so white.

So you're white Hispanic? I'd start playing that way if I were you. Get some Latino friends if you don't have any and introduce them as family.

Be passive aggressive as shit. Call friend at work and then bitch them out for eating while on the phone because it sounds " fucking disgusting you fat piece of shit ". Say it loud enough so El Gordo hears it, but make sure it's not directed at him.

[Craizie]

That makes sense, edicut is probably Spanish for etiquette. I thought it was etiquetteo.

I'm pretty sure those are the roll up things you get at Pancho's.

[4bangen]

Is 4bangen Mexican?

I'm practically see through I'm so white.