Sex education in school....How to talk to a 12 yr old ?

[MutherjuggZ]

Hey, Kim...we could always get your brood and my brood together and let Robert give the sex talk to the boys while we get drunk and tell ourselves they still have their innocence.

Our children would turn out to be the largest group of swinging boners released into the wild since God created man. Probably not the best idea. Let's DO IT! LOL!!

[46Tbird]

Hahahaa... Jared, you haven't lost a step. Awesome.

[LANTIRN]

My dad gave me some book he got from either the doctor or planned parenthood with a bunch of shitty illustrations after my mom walked in on me jerking off one day. He gave me the book, said "read this", then awkwardly avoided talking to me for about two days. Mom didn't really talk to me for close to a week. Somehow I managed not to knock anyone up or catch anything; I made some smart decision while younger but I also made some really stupid ones that by the grace of god had no ill effects. Of course these decisions were made mainly due to alcohol.

[MutherjuggZ]

Just don't tug too hard. You don't want to bruise it.
And watch where you put it. You don't want to lose it.

Be prepared for the day in a couple of years
When you meet a nice girl and you both have some beers.

She'll live with her aunt, and you'll be at their loft.
You'll kiss for a while and her top will come off.

Try not to freak out, son. Just go with the flow.
If you get too excited, think of Grandmother's toe.

You know, the big brown one that smells like hot bile.
That will soften your boner, so you can last for a while.

Now take off her shoes - the girl's, not Granny's.
Get her out of her pants, and her bra, and her panties.

There's a hole on this girl, just in front of her butt.
Stick a finger in, son. If it's loose, she's a slut.

But that's not necessarily a terrible thing.
We should appreciate sluts for the condoms they bring.

That's right, son, a condom. Always put on a lid.
Or you'll end up with Aids, or the herp, or a kid.

Now back to your finger, take it out for a sec.
Bring it up to your nose while you kiss on her neck.

If it smells like bad cheese, rotten eggs, or a zoo
Pickles, a skunk, turds, vomit, or a burnt glue...

Or sweaty old gym socks, or the ass of a trout.
Then stop! Put your pants on and get the fuck out!

But if it smells like wet roses that are covered in honey,
Congratulations, my son. This is more right than money.

This is better than fun. This is bigger than freedom.
Dont think twice about friends, they'll be back when you need 'em.

Put your pole in her hole. Put your pud in her pocket.
This is wild new frontier, and your dick's Davy Crockett.

Have fun while you can, it goes downhill from here.
One day she'll be fat, and you'll need lots more beer.

Holy shit I am dying laughing!

Sent from my SGH-T959V using Tapatalk

[jdgregory84]

Well I got the letter home last night that it's sex ed time in junior high for my 12 year old.

It's an abstinence program that teaches about human anatomy but not about birth control / contraceptive devices.

I haven't had "the talk" with my son about having sex yet but we have discussed human anatomy, the mechanics of the male and female reproductive system, our dog got pregnant which introduced the baby question & answer session, and of course we've discussed what it means to love someone and be married. I haven't discussed the actual deed though.

From the fellas here... What are some ways "MOM" can possibly approach this where he isn't going to get all freaked the fuck out?

I'm NOT going to leave it to this ONE class in school to educate my child on the most important and sacred part of being a responsible loving committed adult.

Go ahead and knock out the smartassery too, but any helpful input would be greatly appreciated as well


The only reason I ask here, is because it's a sea of sausages that were all 12 years old once, and you are all brutally honest on what a 12 yr old boy could be thinking / feeling.


Funny fucking addition to the story... I asked my dad how I could approach the subject with my son... his answer "don't sweat it, let the schools teach him that stuff." I told him he belonged in a South Park episode and I have no idea how I held off having children until age 21 with suggestions like that LOL!!! (BTW, he knew I was just giving him a hard time)

It might sound stupid and somebody else might have already posted this exact same thing but be 100% honest. Don't try and blend love with sex. It's stupid. Don't even mention love. If you do, you're just supporting the bullshit abstinence programs. Tell him what sex is and the consequences of not doing it safely. It's sex ed, not love ed. I personally have had sex with plenty of girls that I don't love and that's the reality of things. Teach him to respect women but if he has sex with them to do it smart...









...and pull out. J/K Seriously though. Just lay it down in black and white. That's how guys process shit.

[jefehbk]

1.) just remind him that thru out life girls will come and go, but kids last forever.

and teach him the two following phrases to tell girls if they get pregnant.

"It Wasn't Me"
or

"I am sterile because of a bike accident."

[71chevellejohn]

Jluv, your words have brought a tear to my eye...


I'm laughing so hard I'm crying here!

[jluv]

In all seriousness, I never got the talk. Not sure when or how I figured it out. Must have been porno mags or dirty jokes.

[UserX]

[jluv]

Forget all the nonsense posted so far. Tell him with a poem!

Son, you're twelve, and life couldn't be meaner.
But it gets a lot better once you discover your weiner.

That thing between your legs isn't only for tinkles.
With a tug and a slap it will lose all its wrinkles.

Just don't tug too hard. You don't want to bruise it.
And watch where you put it. You don't want to lose it.

Be prepared for the day in a couple of years
When you meet a nice girl and you both have some beers.

She'll live with her aunt, and you'll be at their loft.
You'll kiss for a while and her top will come off.

Try not to freak out, son. Just go with the flow.
If you get too excited, think of Grandmother's toe.

You know, the big brown one that smells like hot bile.
That will soften your boner, so you can last for a while.

Now take off her shoes - the girl's, not Granny's.
Get her out of her pants, and her bra, and her panties.

There's a hole on this girl, just in front of her butt.
Stick a finger in, son. If it's loose, she's a slut.

But that's not necessarily a terrible thing.
We should appreciate sluts for the condoms they bring.

That's right, son, a condom. Always put on a lid.
Or you'll end up with Aids, or the herp, or a kid.

Now back to your finger, take it out for a sec.
Bring it up to your nose while you kiss on her neck.

If it smells like bad cheese, rotten eggs, or a zoo
Pickles, a skunk, turds, vomit, or a burnt glue...

Or sweaty old gym socks, or the ass of a trout.
Then stop! Put your pants on and get the fuck out!

But if it smells like wet roses that are covered in honey,
Congratulations, my son. This is more right than money.

This is better than fun. This is bigger than freedom.
Dont think twice about friends, they'll be back when you need 'em.

Put your pole in her hole. Put your pud in her pocket.
This is wild new frontier, and your dick's Davy Crockett.

Have fun while you can, it goes downhill from here.
One day she'll be fat, and you'll need lots more beer.

[Binky]

Sit him down at the computer, hit redtube.com and then leave the room. Tons on instructional material at your disposal.

[71chevellejohn]

You could tell him that he can't have sex because of Pillow Pants

[SVT Lurch]

Bill Engvall

I was going to have the talk with my son, but I know kids today are more advanced than you and me, So I sat him down and said, "Son, I know you already know a lot of things, so why don't you do this: why don't you tell me what you know, and I'll just fill in the blanks." About 30 minutes later I'm sitting there with a pen and a pad of paper going they'll do that?!.

[Fern]

jared killed it with the poem, but i gotta add -

what if the little man says "Mom, I've been fucking for a year now, but thanks."

*high five!*

[46Tbird]

Just be glad you're not a dad having to explain this to your little girl.

Or worse, how she's supposed to wear a tampon, because we have no idea how that shit works.