Sex education in school....How to talk to a 12 yr old ?

[Ruffdaddy]

I still think teaching abstinence or telling your kid in any way that sex is wrong will only drive him to hide it making him afraid to buy condoms and do it properly. The only reason I true hiding so much and chancing shot was because of the super religious stance my mom had.

[stinginstang]

I'd reinforce to not rely on "her" (pill, diaphragm, etc),

Do women still use diaphragms?


It sounds like you've had some conversations about sex with your son, or did you just tell him you could talk about it? I have a 14 year old and we've always been really casual when talking about sex. It's hard NOT to see something sexually suggestive on TV or on the radio. I would ask him if he knew what the reference was to and explain it as the situations came up. It would seem quite odd and unnatural to have a sit down talk with cue cards and whatnot to explain it all.

[shumpertdavid]

If he's 12, he's most likely had numerous conversations about sex with his buddies, or at least what they think sex is. Teaching Abstinence is a good thing, but unfortunately only a small percentage will follow it, teaching responsibility will be very important. My dad had the birds an bees talk with me around 11 or 12 best I remember. There had been plenty of talk about girls and such at school and on the school bus long before that. Around 15 he proceeded to give me some condoms, like stated above it's not rocket science. With today's trends, waiting until he's 15 could be dangerous considering kids are starting at 12 and 13 commonly. My ex-coworker is a youth minister at a local church and it amazes me how young in age kids do things compared to when I was in school which wasn't that long ago.

On another note, I've had a nephew now for 4 and half years, my youngest sister had him just before her 16 Bday, I have to say she's been a great mom considering. My mom had her on birthcontrol, for acne/ period regulation which I call bs on. Point is, didn't do much good when she didn't take it.

I think explaining being responsible will go a long way, oh and "don't keep them in your wallet", "store in high heat areas", blah blah blah.

DEFINITELY explain that the pull and shoot method is not a safety, I can't believe the amount of 20+ age people that still think that is a viable method. Also that sperm can live up to 5 days inside the woman and that it only takes 1 out of the millions to fertilize the egg so the chances of pregnancy are super high. Also precum is more potent than ejaculate so no "just a couple pokes then I'll put it on"

Good luck

[SS Junk]

Buy him a stack of porn and lock him in his room, he'll figure it out.

Found out what a lady garden truly looked like via my Dad's Hustler magazine. I was pleasantly surprised.

[Mike]

If this program he is going through is called "Game Plan" then it really is a great program to educate kids, I taught it for two years to Jr. High students. The book has different activities that actually task the kids to interact with their parents. That might be a good ice breaker for you and your son since he is already talking about it in school.

LOL, perfect name for this topic.

[thebeave]

If this program he is going through is called "Game Plan" then it really is a great program to educate kids, I taught it for two years to Jr. High students. The book has different activities that actually task the kids to interact with their parents. That might be a good ice breaker for you and your son since he is already talking about it in school.

[Magnimike1]

If he is twelve, he already knows more than most of the guys on here. I learned at 9. I went over every detail with my son at that age.

[DamonH]

My Dad basically just said, 'you better not be having sex, and if you do, you BETTER be using a condom'. That being said, I took the "BETTER use a condom" thing to heart, but it had some flaws. The few tips that would have helped me out:

1). I lost my virginity at 15 (girlfriend was 14). Your son probably already knows someone at 12 who talks about it and has done it so the more accurate information he gets from you the better.
2). Reinforce that girls can get pregnant even with no penetration (just rubbing).
3). At least explain to him to pinch the the tip of the condom and hold it to keep air out of the reservoir as he rolls it on, I didn't know that for a while. Maybe there are some drawings (or videos with fruit, etc) on the internet to help take away the awkwardness.
4). Make sure he knows, condoms DO break. The second time I had sex, the condom broke and I had no idea why it felt so much better until I was finished. I lost 10 pounds over the next 20 days waiting for my girlfriend to have her period worried literally sick I got her pregnant.
5). I wanted sex bad enough to go through the embarrassment of buying condoms, but I didn't want to mill around the condom isle either so I'd grab something and run. Make sure he knows they come in different sizes, I ended up with Magnums one time.
6). Let him know some STDs are permanent, and you can still get them from oral sex.

I know some of the above is obvious, but it never hurts to reinforce.

[Silverback]

I can't imagine having that conversation with my mom. Holy shit. The stack of porn method may be the best course of action. Or better yet, a subscription to realitykings.com. Nothing explains the way a man can love and be committed to a woman like a Mike's apartment video.

Nothing says I love you like using your foot to shove a chicks head in the toilet while railing her from the back like a roughneck on his first prospecting claim!

[Silverback]

I think the best thing you can do it make it so that sex isn't akward for you or him to discuss. Make him confident and comfortable with not only the process, but with being open and talking about birth control, abstinence, pregnancy, diseases, etc not only with you, but with his friends, girlfriends, etc.

Being uninformed, ashamed, or scared of sex is what leads kids to give in to peer pressure, or make bad decisions on sex.

Hell don't be afraid to even start discussing alcohol and drugs and the effects they can have on judgement during sexual encounters. The more informed and confident your son is about all of these things, the better decisions he'll make down the road.

Most of the friends I had that got the "sex is wrong", or "sex is dangerous" speaches were the first ones to blow it all off and end up knocking someone up, or having to dip their cocks in vats of alcohol after a drip to Mexico

[Broncojohnny]

I can't imagine having that conversation with my mom. Holy shit. The stack of porn method may be the best course of action. Or better yet, a subscription to realitykings.com. Nothing explains the way a man can love and be committed to a woman like a Mike's apartment video.

[GhostTX]

They are NOT going to walk in a store and buy condoms and they definitely ARE going to have sex. One more measure of preventative maintenance on my end could keep me from being a grandparent before I'm 40.

To me the most important thing is safety and no teenage egg fertilization. Not only is the act of having sex an important issue, but also the respect and care for the other person that needs to be addressed too.

Sounds like you have a plan. Get into the realities of it (diseases, pregnancies, life after pregnancy, etc.). Since you've already made the decision that it's "ok" for him to have sex, do what you can to help him keep it "safe". I'd reinforce to not rely on "her" (pill, diaphragm, etc), and make the condom the way to go. Make sure he's the more responsible party.

Agreed the whole condom thing isn't rocket science, but there's always a banana to demo with.

With this board, I'm sure there's several that'd volunteer to do a live demo with you.

[UserX]

Just show him this, problem solved. Oh, and you're welcome.

[MutherjuggZ]

Is that class when girls find out a blow job doesn't have much to do with actually blowing air?

No, that comes in the next class called "Fellatio 101"

[Racewerx]

Is that class when girls find out a blow job doesn't have much to do with actually blowing air?

That is the class were girls learn if they will drive a Honda or a Corvette.