Favorite Sayings

[dumpycapri85]

As my Mom always said ,

Shut your mouth or I will rip your arms off and beat you with the bloody stumps !

She is a very loving women .

Do unto others , then run like hell (or before they do unto you) .

If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to drive a go cart around the inside of a cheerio .

If brains were dynomite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose .

That chick looks like someone put a fire out on her face with a pitch fork .

She is so ugly she hurt my feelings .

[sosoe]

If it smells like trout, pull out...

[Steve]

It's a funny thing about experience, it's something you don't get until after you needed it.

[built2layframe]

I like my whiskey old and my women young.

I like my whiskey like I like my women. Aged 17 years and all mixed up in coke.

[Snatch Napkin]

I haven't read them all, so if these repeat, fucking read it again.


I wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite turd.

What in the cornbread hell?

That's slicker than greased owl shit!

Quit your bitchin' and rub some dirt in it.

[Doug Hatton]

Mr. Furious: Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? "If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right." It's...
The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage...
Mr. Furious: ...your rage will become your master? That's what you were going to say. Right? Right?
The Sphinx: Not necessarily.

[paul_376]

If it aint white, it aint right

[chuckacosta]

"Take it easy and if she's easy taker her!"

"I like my coffee like I like my women, White and Hot!"

"I'd rather be single and happy than married and miserable!"

"Let's blow this popscicle/taco stand!"

[bpawl]

im so mad i could shit in my hand and rub it in my hair

[CRASH]

When leaving somewhere, or getting ready to leave "depending who is around" I usually say;
"Lets make like a hockey player and get the phuck outta here!"
"Lets make like a baby and head out!"
"Lets make like a cow patty and hit the trail!"
"Lets make like a tree and leave!"

Some of my favorites......
"Out like a fat kid in dodge ball !"
"Out like a boner in sweat pants !"

"Sweating like a whore in church."

One I think I read on here a while back.....
"There's only two things I care about in this world, and your fucking opinion isn't one of them !"

HAHA !

-Aaron

[tkblkcobra]

When it's hot and sticky-thats no time to dunk youy dicky.
When the frost is on the pumpkin-thats the time for dicky dunkin.

I'm drunker than three Indians on pay day.

I don't drink any more.
I just don't drink any less.

[dumpycapri85]

My Grandfather used to tell me when I farted and it stunk .

You need to learn how to pass the fart around the turd instead of straight thru it .

He would tell me when someone thought they new what they were talking about .

Its beter to be thought a fool then to open your mouth and prove it .

When you see an ugly girl .

She has a face that could end world hunger .

She could scare the magits off a gut wagon .

I'm so hungry I could eat the ass out of a dead rhino .

If I want to hear from an asshole I'll fart .

I'm gonna beat you like a slave owner .

The golden rule .

He who has the gold makes the rules .

Queer as a 3 dollar bill .

Pitchin or catchen , your still playin the game .

If it don't have tits or tires I'm not interested .

[slowyellow]

A guy at work said this, but I laughed. You might need a fucked up sense of humor for this one, lol.

"I only turned down one piece of ass in my life. And that was a 12 yr old boy, and I turned it face down."

[Roscoe]

That's wrong as two boys fuckin'

[A+]

Boys lie..,,,,,....on top of girls