Favorite Sayings

[jdgregory84]

"I play real sports. I ain't tryin' to be the best at excercising."

...or just about anything else Kenny Powers says.

[71chevellejohn]

Regarding a emrgency run to the crapper:
"My shit/fart separator is on the fritz"

[SVT Lurch]

When someone asked to pass the butter my grandpa would always say "Butter? Don't even know her."

"Unfortunately, i broke my give-a-shitter"

My giveadamn is broken.

I've got thisgreat new pill, works wonders for my depression - it's called fugidol.

"Its been real and its been fun, but it aint been real fun"

Or It's been real, it's been nice, it's been real nice, but I've got to go.

"You can choose any color you like, but we only have Green!" (don't know what it's from, but my wife says it a lot!)

Henry Ford - said you could have a Model T in any color as long as it was black.

[Txstang1]

In response to "if" - If a bullfrog had wings he wouldnt bump his ass when he walked.

- That's what she said

- Right on

- WHAT THE FUCK !!!!

- busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

- it's a turd

[payne5757]

My grandfather and dad whenever I would ask a question like "whats that for?" and they either just fealt like aggrivating me or didnt want to answer, they said

Cat fur for makin kitten britches.

[Jonny00GT]

Life at my old job!!! "The beatings will continue until moral improves!"

Me to my kids! "You got 2 choices...you can do it, or you can do it cryin'!"

The way my kids play board games. "If at first you don't succeed, change the rules!"

When they just won't drop it. "I heard you twice the first time!"

Concerning the right of way when driving. "Being right is small consolation when you're dead!"

"Saying it louder don't make it any less wrong!"

"Live is what happens while you're making plans."

"You can ask me to do it, or you can show me how it's done...not both!"

"You can choose any color you like, but we only have Green!" (don't know what it's from, but my wife says it a lot!)

This is a stretch, but bares repeating. "We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungratefull. We have been doing so much, for so long, with so little, that we can now do anything with nothing."

"You make a better door than a window." (My son stops in front of the TV a lot!)

"It's all over, but the cryin"

"Comprehension is not a prerequisit to compliance!"

"Any day of the week and twice on Sunday!"

"Don't be a fool, Wrap your tool!"

Any my all time favorit right now..."Never go full Retard!"

[Texican]

Stepdad:
Madder than a jap with the clap.

And not really a saying but when asked why he was listening to Elton John, he responded with "He ain't fuckin me!"

And just to bring it up, the old man on Boondock Saints, his were the best.

[Hay Burner]

You're fucking this monkey, I'm just holding the tail.

[inline 6]

"Its been real and its been fun, but it aint been real fun"

[Blame Canada]

That dipshit couldn't organize a free fuck in a whore house.

[lxturbo]

Thats as wrong as two fat boys holding hands

Thats as wrong as two fat boys fucking

Fucked up like a can of worms

Ive seen monkey shit fights more organized

[fitzwell]

" That boy could fuck up a steel ball in a padded room"

"Dumber than a stump" Or "Dumber than a sack of hammers"

My stepdad, to my stepbrother, whilst working on his buddies race car..

"how come you always have enough time to do things twice, but never enough time to do 'em right?" This would send him into a screaming, tool throwing rage....

"Madder than a Jap General" or "Madder than a stepped on spider"

"Hey, it ain't rocket science"

[helosailor]

If the ladies don't find ya handsome, at least let em find ya handy.

Red Green: renaissance man.

[Jimbo]

If the ladies don't find ya handsome, at least let em find ya handy.

[71chevellejohn]

If you can't be good, be good at it...

That's gayer than 2 guys fucking one guy.